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I don't rhyme enough, eh? (Ode) by Niphredil Rhyming is not all-important. I know
For some it's a challenge, a chance for a show,
But let all beware of those who coerce
Their disordered feelings to pre-ordered verse.
I'm sure that a poem is oft viewed as neater
When properly rhymed and according to meter
If genius strikes you, by all means then rhyme;
Less than that shall be denounced as a crime.
Up the ladder:
The Glow of the Sun
Down the ladder:
Cry
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.142857
Posted: October 3, 2005 11:32 AM PDT; Last modified: October 3, 2005 11:32 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.03842 Overall Rank: 7202 Comments:
[6]
wilco @ 66.61.101.130
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3-Oct-05/1:32 PM
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Reply
Rhyming is overrated. This is a good poem about that, but it's just not that interesting...sorry.
[n/a]
Niphredil @ 192.117.121.122
> wilco
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3-Oct-05/3:53 PM
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Reply
Heh, it's not even a poem, it's more of a joke; a friend of mine found my page through a web search and informed me (indirectly) that I don't rhyme enough. So I emailed him back with this and figured it would be amusing to put it on the site. C'est tout...
[n/a]
zodiac @ 212.118.19.67
> Niphredil
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5-Oct-05/1:49 AM
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Reply
Is your friend gay? Who actually criticizes poetry for not rhyming enough?
Even Picasso said he had to learn to draw like Michelangelo before he could learn to draw like a 7 year old. The latter took him about 40 years.
End in the Rhyme Poetry with it's flashy plume and flowery scent is but a simple tool to recall a precious event. Dare I say many a fool has often came and went who forgot this simple rule and so will not end in the rhyme. If you wish to write poems sublime to spand the changing seasons (For man's memory fades with time if it's not given a proper reason) Fear not that it be called a crime nor claims of poetic treason to historically rhyme in the end.
What happens when genius doesn't strike you and you don't rhyme?
You get bad reviews on poemranker. Of course...
So the genius stricken are the only ones allowed to rhyme but Elstupido is given a free pass to write non-rhymes. Bad poetry is bad whether it rhymes or not.
Maybe your friend just likes your rhyming poems and wanted to hear more. If you don't snub your nose at rhyme (which I don't believe you do) then why post this poem. Have any of us told you to rhyme more? You too good a writer for such triviality.
I don't snub my nose at rhyming poems, quite the contrary. I was basically making a joke and lo! a rational discussion sprang forth!
Seriously, I consider the art of writing poetry in rhyme or strict cadence as one that is a distinct intellectual exercise (hell, what poetry isn't? but still) as well as an expression of feeling and emotion. It's an obvious challenge to compress an idea to a pre-determined form (like a sonnet, for instance) and perhaps that is the reason I don't write more in verse, though I love it - I feel that rhymes should fall into place naturally, instead of stilting the poetry itself. That's tremendously hard to pull off correctly.
Here's some more math:
Name the 10 most famous rhyming poems you know. Now name the 10 most famous non-rhyming poems. Did you actually make it to 10 non-rhyming poems? You're disqualified from this discussion.
The last two lines of the poem are ridiculous. 'Coerce/there disordered feelings to verse' 'to' should be at least be 'to because it is a contraction of into.
rhyme ; the criminal act of forcing words into feelings, when poetry in the first instance is a feeling feel for meaning that does not come wordless... I cannot agree less.
Poetry ; also the criminal act of forcing words into feelings.
The rest of your comment is incomprehensible. What gives poetry or any art form feeling is composition. It is not feeling it is an evoker of feeling. Rhyme is a poetic device like metaphor or alliteration. All used to help make a lasting impression on the reader. What does poetry do that prose can't? Poetry can be memorized more easily and tends to be shorter, that's all.
Where I live, the people who bother to visit think the Muslim call to prayer is the most beautiful haunting thing ever. This is at least half because it's not usually in any musical key known to the West and because the desert gives it odd echoey effects. The other half is that it rhymes. If they knew the muezzin was just singing "I believe there's no god but God, I believe Mohammed's the prophet of God, hurry up to prayer, hurry up to the harvest, no god but God," they probably wouldn't think it's nearly as tragic and emotive. As it is, they just have a dim awareness of rhyme, especially the part that actually goes "la ilah ila allah". There's a quality to good rhyme beyond the emotive power of words themselves. cf Robert Frost.
In short, you should love rhyme for exactly the reason that you hate it.
All together now:
La ilah ila allah... Ahyippyyippy mowmow. I think the quality is something akin to the primal feeling that rhyme equals reason and I think that is because repetition has a simular effect. I hate to say it but Poe might be right about poetry being mostly a mathmatical effect.
Usually I sing it to the Smurfs theme song.
(Bonus note: It's against Muslim holy law to call the call-to-prayer 'singing'. True story.) After 10 years of paying attention to it, I'd say the key to poetry is repetition. Or, better, prediction. I don't mean when you hear "I'm in love" you know the next line's going to be "sent from heaven above." I mean, you tap your feet to it; you know there's a line ending with -incter coming up somewhere; the image of the dump truck comes back in the end; a metaphor holds the poem together. Now, before everybody jumps on my ass, I think there's a WHOLE FUCKING LOT of room to play in poems, even when your goal is repetition. As evidence, consider that my poems (ie, repetition-focused) are generally more original than the most out-there free-form poetry on poemranker. The trick is surprising people just a little. Put 'succincter' in the middle of a line instead of the end. Toss up the beat a little. Make an odd refrain or repeat an image where it's not expected. But repeat something, anything. Or you'll sound like one of our resident Californian poets reading a Whole Foods grocery list in a monotone. Rhyme's a good place to start, but I wouldn't do it for a living.
Eggs-fucking-zactly! Thank you for saying that.
You'll get rich writing rhyme or prose faster than any of the other forms. Just ask Stephen King or Emenem and they suck at it. I'm guessing you opted for prose. Good choice. The most lucrative of them all. Rhyme was really big when there weren't a lot of people who could read or had access to literature so poems easy to memorize became popular. Then everyone was reading and rhyme faded and fell by the wayside. But nowadays people are busier and more distracted so short poetry and rhyme for their quick fix and quickly memorizable qualities are coming back into the limelight. By the way don't you think Hip-hop may be the only form of poetry (if it can be considered that) that actually achieves most of the goals of poetic movements. ie. Changing common language, social behavior, youthful attitude, philosophy and most important getting women to dance in their underwear. "All smurf the holy Smurfhammed." Bush would make the best Gargamel.
Hip-hop? I don't think so. I mean, out of all the rappers you've ever heard, how many of them were saying something? (all of them, you'd think?) No. Most just sing about how they're the biggest gangsta in the mothafuckin' hood and have all the best bitches and weed. That's not poetry or anything like it, it's simply ludicrous and an excuse for music with no content.
I've heard very few hip-hop songs that made me stop and think. Maybe it's degenerated and I admit that in Israel rapping on the corner is pretty rare, but I don't have much appreciation for hip-hop as a genre. Sorry. ~ (hey! I loved Gargamel (still do)!)
And if these lidicrous so called poets can effect culture so much just think of what a good poet could do in that genre. A bad lyrical poet does not mean lyrical poetry is bad nor does a bad rapper make rap bad.
The 'Is hip-hop poetry' discussion is this year's version of 'What if the color I think is orange is really purple?' Of course hip-hop is poetry. Most of it is bad poetry.
In grad school lit classes we studied Tupac and DMX. We didn't study poemranker poets. Do the math.
Actually we're both mistaken. Hip-hop isn't poetry, rap is. Hip-hop is just the name for the lifestyle they lead. Of course rap is poetry but some people believe poetry should be something seperate and I didn't want to piss on that perception just yet.
So yes I pussied out and contradicted myself there. I don't care about the 'Is rap poetry' question or who's color blind. I was talking about how it seems to be the only contemporary poetic movement that's having a major affect on sociaty. I get 2pac but DMX?
People who think poetry should be something different are illiterates. I don't personally know any of these people, though the people I know are always talking about how they hate those other people. Personally, I doubt whether they exist.
I've always heard hip-hop used to describe both the music and the lifestyle. I think it's because white people (including most of my professors) are more comfortable saying hip-hop than rap. I don't know why. It used to seem like a big deal to me that the world had "turned away from poetry" and so on and rap and pop music were the only poetic forms people paid attention to, but it doesn't now. Consider: 1) Originally, all poetry was set to music; it WAS music. 2) During times when access to singers/reciters or recorded music was limited, written poetry was a decent substitute. 3) But during those times there was no diminishment in the poetry-as-music movement, it was just hard to get at your isolated manor house. 4) Since recorded and live music became more available in the end of the 1800s, interest in written poetry has been diminished. Every generation since then has considered its musicians poets, and every generation has scandalized at the thought that people were paying attention to music-poetry more than nonmusic-poetry. Whatever. Here is a nowhere near complete list of the music people have had this same debate about: - Opera - Cole Porter and Broadway light opera - Jazz - Beat-style jazz - early rock - The Beatles - Bob Dylan - most other 60s rock - Led Zeppelin - early and most other rap - Bossa Nova and latin music - Grunge lyrics If you consider some of the genres on this list, DMX (actually, I think I meant Run DMC and was tired) isn't such a bad choice. Conclusion: Silly thing to argue about, nowhere near original, and not going away. The best thing to say is all music is poetry. Most is bad poetry.
No real arguement from me on this one...
Ok. Did you recover from your shock induced heart attack. I think rap is a little closer to what strait out liturature poetry is than the more music driven forms. So it seems to be the one most commonly agued nowadays. I saw two poets aguing it on CSPAN's Book TV and I thought the same thing. Duh. The internet has revived poetry as written word somewhat but soon that will fade away also. Like a slow draining of water out of a fish's bowl. Just curious I guess were you guys think poetry is going to go next. Sorry that's another way over done topic. Nevermind. Don't mind me I'm a little buzzed on cough syrup right now. I appologize again profusely.
Ask yourself if the reason you think rap is closer to literature poetry is because it simply has MORE WORDS than other musical forms. Yeah, I thought so too, then a bunch of rappers disagreed.
Not quite. It's because words are a necessity in rap. Even its name comes from a slang term for talking. Most other popular forms of music tend to rely more on the actual music. I will say some country music has many of the qualities you find in literature poetry. Then a bunch of cowboys drew their pistols.
Ok?
It's all there: Guy walks into a bar, drinks a beer, pulls a gun, grabs the girl, runs.
Oh Country music! OK I must have forgotten to turn my brain on that day. The difference is that Johny Cash most likely did do those things.
I'm amazed at your ability to pull up these references so often. In complete awe.
It came at a price, believe me. The plus side is, it does get you laid after all.
I try that sometimes but all that pops into my mind is "titties".
I prefer a girl with nice big titties and an ugly ass as opposed to a fine ass. That way when she finally walks out on you, you don't mind seeing her sorry ass go.
I watched a fat-assed man leaving once and told him to turn around so I could kick something tiny.
Do you prefer a man who's smarter than you or dumber than you?
Smarter, but I've given up looking.
I have a genuine question: How do you know when a person is smarter than you? I mean, if he says something you don't understand, are you more likely to assume he's talking about something beyond your lesser intelligence, or something stupid and nonsensical? As long as you start with an assumption like "I'm astonishingly smart", it's practically untestable, right?
Christ, this is poorly-worded. My excuse is it's my birthday, I'm 26 and slightly drunk in Muslim public.
I am astonishingly smart. I always like to start with your suggestion for an answer because you think you have the perfect rebuttal. Makes it more interesting, don't you think? But I'll be honest and say that some men seem smarter than I am in certain areas. I think this because their perceptions in those areas seem better than mine. But the same man can be very silly, to the point of ridiculous, in most other areas. If I knew I was smarter in all areas there would be no point, other than for sex, to talk with him. Frankly, few men stimulate me in conversation.
No perfect rebuttal. Oh, now I have one: You sound kind of sad and boring when you smugly respond with my suggested response. Also, psych - I'm not planning these conversations that far ahead, nor trying to end them quickly.
I think if I understood someone's perception about something, I'd think I was at least as smart as that person. If I didn't understand his perception, I'd think I could either be smarter or dumber. And I'd be inclined toward smarter. If it sounds like I'm just rehashing my first comment, that's because I think you didn't get or answer it. PS-It's too late to dodge with 'guys who are smarter in areas'. Stick with your original statement: You prefer a man who's smarter than you. We'll assume on-average smarter, thank you.
Oh now I get it, silly me. A man who says things I don't understand is most likely smarter than I am. May I ask how every Spanish-speaking man seems so smart?
Odd, didn't I just say I assume I'm SMARTER than people I don't understand? Are you babelfishing my comments again?
No, but I'll try it. They might come clearer babblefished via Arabic. Yes, you said that in your most recent stupor, but on 29-Oct-05/7:08 PM when you were 26 and slightly drunk, I assumed you implied the opposite. And being drunk myself, which is the only way to be when answering such guff, I fixated on it. Silly me.
If I may make a suggestion: I don't usually have an 'angle' in mind whilst talking to you. If I ever do, I'm unable to stop myself from revealing it in a totally premature and obvious way. However, your worrying about what my angle is often makes you say ludicrous nonsensical things, which is why I usually make fun of you. You see?
If I may make another suggestion: The answer to this conversation should be "I prefer a man who I THINK is smarter than me." Your constant failure to distinguish between your ideas about something and the reality of it (similar or not) is another of the reasons why I make fun of you, and the one thing I'd like to teach you before I die. I consider myself an astonishingly smart person, but I almost never make that mistake.
I will take that as honesty and not as an angle. No, I think I will take that as honesty and not an angle. No, I think that I think I will take that as honesty and not an angle. Usually, I leave off the "I think"s and that is part of the problem.
Aspire en mi lollipop.
According to Dovina's reply ask them if they would date her. If they say no there's a likelyhood they are one of the smarter ones.
(cough)-bullshit-(cough)
Yeah, I started having doubts as soon as I posted that.
This from the Center for Disease Control, 2002. American males 15-44 years of age with no high school or GED - No sexual contact with females: 3.1% - Had sex but not in the last 12 months: 6.0% - 1-2 partners in the last 12 months: 69.4% - 3 or more in the last 12 months: 12.6% - Average number of sexual partners per lifetime: 5.5 American males 15-44 years of age with high school or GED - No sexual contact with females: 3.1% - Had sex but not in the last 12 months: 5.1% - 1-2 partners in the last 12 months: 79.8% - 3 or more in the last 12 months: 9.5% - Average number of sexual partners per lifetime: 7.0 American males 15-44 years of age with some college, no degree - No sexual contact with females: 3.3% - Had sex but not in the last 12 months: 7.5% - 1-2 partners in the last 12 months: 77.7% - 3 or more in the last 12 months: 10.5% - Average number of sexual partners per lifetime: 6.7 American males 15-44 years of age with bachelor's degree or higher - No sexual contact with females: 3.9% - Had sex but not in the last 12 months: 8.4% - 1-2 partners in the last 12 months: 78.3% - 3 or more in the last 12 months: 7.3% - Average number of sexual partners per lifetime: 5.4 Also, women with bachelor's degrees are TWICE as likely to be virgins (3.5% to 1.7%) than non-colleged women.
Wow! And to think you could've dropped out of high school and still averaged the same amount of ass through your lifetime.
Of course one wonders if these men poled were hooked up to a lie detector or not. I think women would rather be smarter than their men. Lets ask Dovina.
Yes, but the women you get in college tend to have more teeth and are less likely to smell like a fry vat.
And more like beer and weed and the three other guys and two girls and great dane they had sex with yesterday after a long night of stripping and amatuer porn filming. You might as well start wearing other mens used condoms if you prefer college girls.
Your right though. They do have nice teeth.
Christ, I knew I should have gone to Girls Gone Wild University. Nothing like this happened at Bob Jones.
While I was going to school for art I lived with 2 strippers, a witch, a satan worshiper, a crack addict, a transvestite, a martial arts master who happened to look exactly like Dave Grohl and the pothead son of a banker all in a 3 bedroom dorm at the same time.
Let me guess. You were the transvestite.
Apparently you also read grammatically incorrectly.
Maybe so, but I meant a compliment. Itâs an honor to be imitated by someone, even if only for an attribute I was born with, and did not earn. My only complaint is that some of them are so good at their craft that I feel jealous.
Genuine totally angle-less question: Do you believe the dress and behavior of transvestites reflects the reality of your womanhood or femininity? In other words, do you think transvestites are imitating you? If not, are they imitating any actual woman you know? If not, who do you think they're imitating?
Angle version: If you answered yes to the above, are you or any of your friends a middle-aged trophy wife prone to wearing either sequins, cellophane, or both at the same time?
I'll answer the angleless question. They immitate womanhood, not me necessarily or any woman I know. They wish to feel the presence of a attribute I was born with. I find that comforting.
Most people studying the matter (there are such people - I'm one of them) note that transvestites imitate a warped or ideal version of womanhood not actually found in most women. There has been a lot of discussion of the fact that transvestites reinforce gender stereotypes rather than subverting them by presenting themselves as 'ultrafeminine', with all that word's accompanying subtexts.
Maybe so. I'm still flattered.
I think my roomate became a transvestite to escape the harsh reality he was brought into. To delve any further into it's meaning, I think would be unflattering to you and them.
I don't see how it could be unflattering to me, but certainly I don't want to be unflattered. His escape might have been from the harsh reality of manhood, a condition he felt trapped in.
Compare this to:
Should blacks be flattered by whites who try to be like them or just insulted because what the white imitators are trying to be is a stereotype? If the latter then how well does it reflect on a black person who is flattered by the white imitators?
If I were black, yes, I would be flattered by whites imitating blacks, even if it's only a stereotype of blacks.
Transvestites' trying to be like us, even if flawed, is appealing. Am I demented?
But when black people try to imitate whites (English) they do things like wear top hats and say things like 'Gosh it is eleven, we must surely be taking tea'. Don't you find that a bit insulting.
When black people try to imitate white Americans, they become transvestites. I do find that insulting.
How true, how true.
Have you seen that Tony Sinclair dude in those Tanqueray ads? Makes you feel good to be white again don't it?
No. Blacks only sound like that when they imitate English people.
The English make white Americans look black. When blacks imitate white Americans they sound like nerdy scientist.
Forget the "No" I missread you the first time.
Prove yourself. The next ten black people you see walk up to, hold up your hand (high 5 style) and say "Whatup my nigga" then report back your findings (as soon as you get out of the hospital).
I wouldn't do that, and I don't think it's a good analogy.
My point is made.
(cough)-bullshit-(cough)
What kind of school and what kind of art?
Illustration and commercial art. My economics teacher and my family economics basically screwed my chances of getting into any decent college. Otherwise I probably would have taken some psychology classes and became a teacher or criminal profiler as both seem to require simular skills nowadays.
Screw that. I already spent the last seven years becoming an expert in something EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE WORLD thinks he can do without experience or qualifications. If I had it to do again, I'd become a fireman.
My first Graphic design Job: 6.50 a fuckin' hour (only a dollar above minimum). My tuition: over 35,000 dollars.
Kids, please, stay out of school.
Jeez. I wonder where you guys get these ideas of college girls. I'm studying electrical engineering, and not one of the girls I know are sex-crazed nymphomaniacs. They're more likely to be ponytailed geekettes in a predominantly masculine environment.
Birds of a feather.
You must have been sorely disappointed when you found out what the BJ in BJU really stood for.
You set'em up, I knock'em down.
u are right ...we dont need to follow rules of past ..we made rules ..that's art ...it must face changes if changes are against past ..
Wrong ...Wrong ..Wrong ..Wrong ...Wrong..
"I'm sure that a poem is oft viewed as neater/When properly rhymed and according to meter"...this made me chuckle! And yes...rhyming isn't the easiest thing in the world, well, good rhyming, that is.
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