"The rain storms" delete "rain"; not too shabby. Stays I think to the right side of pimple - but only barely.

What else u got? Fire it up.

That would work. yep, yes it would.

For a minute - I was in my own cab. good un.

Good one!

Lemme guess - red?

Excellent.

Congrats!

Congrats.

Time is an illusion /echo

An unusual thing from you, this. Feels pimply, I want to pick it to shreds.

Greets (been hard to get on-line this weekend)!

This has a jaunty little beat, doesn't it. I'd be inclined to change a couple minor things here and there, but overall it's got a solid feel.

Exlamations points might be overdone, and I'd just make that last line go right after the "she", and lastly the capital "And" is pretty jarring.

Mechanically it's not to shabbily done, I'd say. The endrhymes weave without any noticeably intrusion.

The meter chugs right along, slightly bumpy toward the end there - but serves to let the reader know the station approaches. I'd try to hack out some of the conjunctions, in particular but carefully since it would affect the good flow.

Philosphically, I'm willing to accept it as a character perspective, one that although I personally don't quite relate to it, I can understand.

Have an Eight. A few more poetic techniques would notch it up pretty easily, given the success of the mechanics used.

"yet" can go.

Lots of twothree letter words in here... this could be very much distilled and made stronger, imho.

Great title.

Is that some forshadowing there at the end?

This one is not as good as the other, imho - but still offers an interesting read.

Some of the language seems heavier.