| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Its raining (Free verse) by caitydee Its raining again
I knew it would
Fat droplets stain my cheeks
Marking my face
Its raining again
Always this time of year
The seasons revolt and bring the rain
That washes over me
The rain storms
Today I cannot withstand its force
Take my boyfriend
My friends and my comfort away
And then expect me to stand
I am paralyzed-it engulfs me
Why canât you hold me?
Tell me what to do
And Iâll smile though my tears
Up the ladder:
Night On the Town
Down the ladder:
Painty
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.2222223
Posted: May 10, 2004 4:06 PM PDT; Last modified: May 10, 2004 4:06 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.611111 Overall Rank: 2275 Comments:
[9]
Sasha @ 69.138.236.63
|
10-May-04/4:08 PM
|
Reply
A bit sappy but alright.
"The rain storms" delete "rain"; not too shabby. Stays I think to the right side of pimple - but only barely.
What else u got? Fire it up.
What are we firing up? I got some shit the other day that....oh....wait....nevermind...what?
Not enough cursing to really be a pimple....
sorry Silver-I accidentally erased your comment-( meant to reply questioning it-you can put it back up if you would like!
Can't remember it, I'm sure it was just me saying something nice. By the way, it's sliver, not silver.
Actually I think it was something mean haha, but its ok, thanks for the comments on the other poems.
Come on, it couldn't have been that bad.
Over-all, the rain theme isn't very strong, and the ending didn't help that much at all-- reminded me of something that would be penned by a highschool girlie.
Blessed with six. 270 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
