replying on American Idle by wilco
5 May 2004, 12:38 PM
Yes, was thinking that. Its a bit of a quandry though: do you make the poem express the emotion at the expense of making it unenjoyable - I mean this in a global sense, btw; not that yours was necessarily unenjoyable (had some very good parts).
on On the Discovery of High Noon and The Devil in a Glass Jar. by MacFrantic
5 May 2004, 11:37 AM
Help me with "tightly jarred"
Good ones, even with my confusion.
Good ones, even with my confusion.
replying on American Idle by wilco
5 May 2004, 8:57 AM
Lateralus in particular.
replying on American Idle by wilco
5 May 2004, 8:32 AM
Check em out.
replying on American Idle by wilco
5 May 2004, 8:27 AM
OMG!
Blasphemer!! Burn him - BURN HIMMMM!!!
Blasphemer!! Burn him - BURN HIMMMM!!!
replying on American Idle by wilco
5 May 2004, 8:17 AM
Under the category of "overshare":
Most definitely - I own it, and the rest of her videos, and something like 200 remixes and original versions of her songs.
I have really three favorite musical artists and they are:
Tool
Eagles
Bjork
(this includes A Perfect Circle and Henley, natch).
Most definitely - I own it, and the rest of her videos, and something like 200 remixes and original versions of her songs.
I have really three favorite musical artists and they are:
Tool
Eagles
Bjork
(this includes A Perfect Circle and Henley, natch).
replying on American Idle by wilco
5 May 2004, 7:48 AM
Don't be messin' with my girl, now.
replying on Working at the Garden Market by jessicazee
5 May 2004, 6:48 AM
No worries, I just do that fairly naturally now; took all of eleven seconds.
on The Towel Head Blues by horus8
5 May 2004, 5:49 AM
Strong stuff.
Too strong maybe; such a thing may exist.
(I'm put off a bit by the language.)
Too strong maybe; such a thing may exist.
(I'm put off a bit by the language.)
on American Idle by wilco
5 May 2004, 5:46 AM
"fatigue is my color." - very very good.
There are so many standard set pieces in here though, I can't decide if its giving it a classic, or a tired feel. Hmmm...
That line though, love that.
There are so many standard set pieces in here though, I can't decide if its giving it a classic, or a tired feel. Hmmm...
That line though, love that.
on California triolets by zodiac
5 May 2004, 5:41 AM
Nice one!
Another great use of a form. The repetition with the driving and the smoking and the reading works really well with this travelog feel.
A well-deserved Ten.
Another great use of a form. The repetition with the driving and the smoking and the reading works really well with this travelog feel.
A well-deserved Ten.
replying on Where Have All the Punk Rockers Gone? by wilco
4 May 2004, 9:08 PM
Foundem:
Well, my time went to quickly
I went lickety-splitly out to my old fifty-five
As I pulled away slowly, feelin' so holy,
God knows I was feelin' alive
And now the sun's comin' up
I'm ridin' with Lady Luck
Freeway cars and trucks
Stars beginning to fade, and I lead the parade
Just a wishin' I'd stayed a little longer
Lord, don't you know the feelin's gettin' stronger
Six in the morning, gave me no warnin'
I had to be on my way
Now the cars are all passin' me,
Trucks are all flashin' me
I'm headed home from your place
And now the sun's comin' up
I'm ridin' with Lady Luck
Freeway cars and trucks
(minus chorus and bridge)
Well, my time went to quickly
I went lickety-splitly out to my old fifty-five
As I pulled away slowly, feelin' so holy,
God knows I was feelin' alive
And now the sun's comin' up
I'm ridin' with Lady Luck
Freeway cars and trucks
Stars beginning to fade, and I lead the parade
Just a wishin' I'd stayed a little longer
Lord, don't you know the feelin's gettin' stronger
Six in the morning, gave me no warnin'
I had to be on my way
Now the cars are all passin' me,
Trucks are all flashin' me
I'm headed home from your place
And now the sun's comin' up
I'm ridin' with Lady Luck
Freeway cars and trucks
(minus chorus and bridge)
replying on Where Have All the Punk Rockers Gone? by wilco
4 May 2004, 9:06 PM
yep, lickety splitly; have you ever actually read the lyrics to that song? I'm gonna go dig those up now (it works as a song, but on paper - whoah. :O)
replying on Working at the Garden Market by jessicazee
4 May 2004, 8:56 PM
LoL - a dirty, dirty hoe.
replying on Where Have All the Punk Rockers Gone? by wilco
4 May 2004, 7:07 PM
talk about writing a song... christ.
replying on Where Have All the Punk Rockers Gone? by wilco
4 May 2004, 7:04 PM
Don Henley is - one of the best.
replying on Funeral of My Childhood by Spindle
4 May 2004, 6:52 PM
Heheh. I guess I lost the memo with the link (okay, its a swan now).
on Working at the Garden Market by jessicazee
4 May 2004, 6:37 PM
Title verb could give you a bit more use prolly.
"windy" twice in the first?
I'm going to go off on that first stanza some more, no abuse intended. Do you really need to *tell* me it's windy? I mean "hats rolling [down] the sidewalk" do that for you, right? Pretty much - "down" is weak to that end though, but easily replaced with maybe a simile. Can you do something with "Hats" - make it more real, less "movie-like"?
Figure all that out and apply to the other stanzas and it will help you with this pattern of saying "here is an event", then proceeding to describe the event; "They were yelling/words were loudly played about" kindof thing. The idea is to not need that first [telling] bit.
Btw, I didn't spend all these words because I think this sucks, in fact it has a refined feel, especially toward the end - but there is some noise making it difficult to appreciate fully.
"windy" twice in the first?
I'm going to go off on that first stanza some more, no abuse intended. Do you really need to *tell* me it's windy? I mean "hats rolling [down] the sidewalk" do that for you, right? Pretty much - "down" is weak to that end though, but easily replaced with maybe a simile. Can you do something with "Hats" - make it more real, less "movie-like"?
Figure all that out and apply to the other stanzas and it will help you with this pattern of saying "here is an event", then proceeding to describe the event; "They were yelling/words were loudly played about" kindof thing. The idea is to not need that first [telling] bit.
Btw, I didn't spend all these words because I think this sucks, in fact it has a refined feel, especially toward the end - but there is some noise making it difficult to appreciate fully.
replying on Working at the Garden Market by jessicazee
4 May 2004, 6:24 PM
"Any of various plants of the genus Impatiens, which includes the jewelweed."
-Or-
"A name formerly applied to several varieties of ulcerous cutaneous diseases, but now restricted to Lupus exedens, an ulcerative affection of the nose."
(would be nice to have seen some dual usage of the word, but it is a minor player in the piece)
-Or-
"A name formerly applied to several varieties of ulcerous cutaneous diseases, but now restricted to Lupus exedens, an ulcerative affection of the nose."
(would be nice to have seen some dual usage of the word, but it is a minor player in the piece)
on Where Have All the Punk Rockers Gone? by wilco
4 May 2004, 6:12 PM
"inverted Darwinian orgy of sound" wow.
De-evolution? Good with punk; well said.
As for the rest, I wish you could make it flow a little smoother without creating a dichotomy between the punk rock sound and, well - smooth flow.
De-evolution? Good with punk; well said.
As for the rest, I wish you could make it flow a little smoother without creating a dichotomy between the punk rock sound and, well - smooth flow.