| Re: a comment on When He's In Me by J.B. Manning |
2-Sep-03/4:34 PM |
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hmm, interesting point on the love being queer part. I think I'll keep it though. It's more of an exclamation to myself. The invitation/interpretation part is not to your liking? Hmm, that's my favorite part. Oh well. Thanks for the 7.
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| Re: Ashes to Ashes by Irischer Junge |
2-Sep-03/4:31 PM |
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This poem sucked. Both context and quality. Bleh.
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| Re: Back In Time by stolenpurity |
2-Sep-03/4:09 PM |
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| Re: Para Sa Aking Sinta by NewbieMe |
2-Sep-03/4:07 PM |
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| Re: Back In Time by stolenpurity |
2-Sep-03/4:06 PM |
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bleh...cliche' without the cathy tune.
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| Re: As the Redwood Ages by DurtKL |
2-Sep-03/3:55 PM |
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| Re: Summer by MaliqaTara |
2-Sep-03/3:53 PM |
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I almost wanted to stop half way through and call it cliche' but I read on and the ending closed it just fine. I still think there are a lot of cliche' references, but it has feeling, which is more important the mechanics anyway.
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| Re: The empty room by INTRANSIT |
2-Sep-03/3:50 PM |
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| Re: Mississipi Murder by scitz |
2-Sep-03/3:50 PM |
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Kind of good, kind of hard to read. I think you could revise this to something much better. Some of the ryme works and some of it is very hard to read. Good work for a first draft.
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| Re: Para Sa Aking Sinta by NewbieMe |
2-Sep-03/3:48 PM |
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| Re: great caesar's ghost by bondjedi |
2-Sep-03/3:47 PM |
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redundancy to fit in the framework of a haiku. I don't like it.
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| Re: a comment on When He's In Me by J.B. Manning |
29-Aug-03/2:35 PM |
Us = passionate, lovers, true love, real passion
Them = those who want it, wish they had it, fake it
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| Re: a comment on When Fairy Tales Forgive Us by J.B. Manning |
21-Aug-03/12:40 PM |
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be my guest. I sent you an email.
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| Re: a comment on Provacation by J.B. Manning |
21-Aug-03/10:29 AM |
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Thanks for the tip. You're right, when I remove it and read it, sounds better. Thanks.
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| Re: a comment on When Fairy Tales Forgive Us by J.B. Manning |
20-Aug-03/4:44 PM |
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Thank you. That second line, the one that you didn't like, is in reference to someone who I set aside, expecting to wait, while I face my inner conflicts. 8 is still good. ;-)
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| Re: The Kansas City Chiefs suck by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
20-Aug-03/2:48 PM |
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haha, I like the second verse. I like both, but the second best.
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| Re: Eternity by Jigg |
20-Aug-03/1:54 PM |
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| Re: Iterated Fuck by nentwined |
20-Aug-03/1:52 PM |
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Awesome. Just freaking Awesome.
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| Re: i will not come to bangladesh by lost in america |
20-Aug-03/1:49 PM |
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wow. A man of words I am, but I only have one for you. Wow.
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| Re: (The vinyards of Tuscany) by Patsy |
20-Aug-03/1:47 PM |
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