| Re: One Moment to the Other (v2) by nentwined |
20-Aug-03/1:45 PM |
|
I liked the first three paragraphs. The fourth one broke apart, I think. Maybe massage the second and forth line in the last paragraph?
|
|
|
 |
| Re: Those Crazy's people in my brainsky by Shardik |
20-Aug-03/1:41 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Some die waiting, or laugh forgetting by Shardik |
20-Aug-03/1:30 PM |
|
"ever/forever/whereever rhymes shouldn't really work?" and why not? They seem to work just fine. You're right that this poem reads well though.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Some die waiting, or laugh forgetting by Shardik |
20-Aug-03/1:29 PM |
|
I like this one. The point is clear, the rthym fluid, and your personality shows through. Smart.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Trailer Park: Diary of a Hayseed by DreamerSupreme |
20-Aug-03/1:21 PM |
I like it. Picturesque like pork loins being salted on your mobile patio.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Under a better bed wetter by Shardik |
20-Aug-03/1:09 PM |
|
I love this. It's disgusting and beautiful at the same time. Like life.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Perversions 5: Kink vs. Mothra by razorgrin |
20-Aug-03/1:08 PM |
Did you write this or did someone else? Instead of inserting a phrase explaining your spelling errors, why not just take the time to use spell check?
|
|
|
|
| Re: To Lesley by Bahookie |
20-Aug-03/1:04 PM |
|
not sure where this one was going.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Love-Anemic by dragonfly |
20-Aug-03/12:58 PM |
This poem is great. If I were you, I would keep it close to me and maybe rework it a few different ways just to see where it takes you. It has the essence of a def poetry performance for sure!
|
|
|
|
| Re: Census by dragonfly |
20-Aug-03/12:55 PM |
|
Hmmm I like the flow and message of this poem.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on I'll be your Gimp by GAY AS FU*K |
20-Aug-03/12:15 PM |
|
I often find it extremely ironic how quickly another writer would come to censor someone's expression. Force our sexuality? As if we have not been forced your sexuality for centuries. We're here, we're queer, so let's drink a beer and toast to the bigots of which we will not fear.
|
|
|
|
| Re: I'll be your Gimp by GAY AS FU*K |
20-Aug-03/12:10 PM |
|
Very interesting. Expressive in a provocative and unrelenting manor.
|
|
|
|
| Re: ? by Crakyamuni |
20-Aug-03/11:53 AM |
|
I like this poem very much. It has emotion, fluid verse, and sort of...kind of reminds me of when I scratch a chaulk board for fun.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Dance With Me by marvelis |
20-Aug-03/11:52 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike |
20-Aug-03/11:49 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: A gift by Birdman42s |
20-Aug-03/11:47 AM |
|
|
|
| Re: Memorial Park by Mona Lisa |
20-Aug-03/11:47 AM |
|
|
|
