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To Lesley (Free verse) by Bahookie
I truly love another Myself is put aside Your self soft skin burning A heart in my hand

Up the ladder: Snow
Down the ladder: unsalvaged

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 30
.. 90
.. 60
.. 31
.. 51
.. 51
.. 30
.. 40
.. 20

Arithmetic Mean: 4.5348835
Weighted score: 4.5348916
Overall Rank: 12721
Posted: March 7, 2003 2:52 AM PST; Last modified: March 7, 2003 2:52 AM PST
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Comments:
[6] DurtKL @ 68.23.217.83 | 7-Mar-03/3:54 AM | Reply
that would hurt.
[3] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 | 7-Mar-03/7:06 AM | Reply
that's it? a little ritual scarring, and you just walk away? WTF?
[1] poetandknowit @ 65.101.211.67 | 11-Mar-03/8:35 AM | Reply
Too many selfs and not enough of anything else.
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 28-Mar-03/9:14 PM | Reply
tada.
[5] Lord Ganus @ 68.14.26.239 | 10-Apr-03/11:19 PM | Reply
lesly's a fga na,e lol als
[n/a] nolan @ 65.93.27.96 | 3-May-03/10:23 PM | Reply
10, what else can i say
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 8-May-03/1:13 AM | Reply
Hey, that's some real good shit, kid. I bet Lesley will really appreciate it!! Why don't you make some sort of multimedia presentation out of it? You could cut out the shape of your love from a single sheet of moistened cardboard, mount it on the very fabric of your being with a stapler of trust, and then shove it into Lesley's face and grind it back and forth until Lesley doesn't have a face anymore, just a sticky bulbous liquid red mass and you're screaming and trying to wake up but you've really done it this time, you sick fucker.
[6] Robert K Foster @ 209.68.66.76 | 21-May-03/10:56 AM | Reply
yeas. love leads to heartburn. well put.
[1] Freethinker1602 @ 68.48.88.129 | 27-May-03/7:52 PM | Reply
is bahookie polynesian for shit
[7] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 | 19-Jun-03/3:37 PM | Reply
odd, but worthy.
[7] http://mulberryfairy @ 216.195.144.189 | 12-Jul-03/7:12 AM | Reply
painful
[n/a] LuckyJoe @ 206.72.7.13 | 26-Jul-03/5:28 PM | Reply
Holding a persons heart in your hand, caring only about them? Don't care about yourself because your obsession lies within and upon them? The feel of their skin makes your hands burn sensually?

Short and sweet... nothing wrong with that. Thought I'd let you know what I got from your poem... see if I was right in how I read into it. If not I'd like to know what it was that you were thinking with your words.
[7] god'swife @ 67.73.32.180 | 18-Aug-03/10:49 AM | Reply
Congratulations, the love you feel is the truest of all poetry. Re-work the last line. You jump from skin to heart, there must be a better segue.
[8] justjay @ 138.89.40.219 | 18-Aug-03/8:31 PM | Reply
almost gives a haiku feeling but to long. u should see maybe about chopping into a haiku or adding to it. give it an 8 though cuz i can feel it. nice job
[8] Settle @ 67.75.22.253 | 20-Aug-03/6:03 AM | Reply
That's a dude's name dude. 8 for so bravely confronting your feelings.
[n/a] deleted user @ 24.222.81.233 | 20-Aug-03/12:46 PM | Reply
If I were itchy skin,
I too would let her in
my bum.
[4] J.B. Manning @ 129.44.35.24 | 20-Aug-03/1:04 PM | Reply
not sure where this one was going.
[8] jonnyduk @ 217.137.173.65 | 4-Sep-03/12:15 PM | Reply
Bahookie, your poem is no way nearly as odd as your name. i like this poem yet i can't understand why.
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