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unsalvaged (Free verse) by skaskowski
you rose and you fell as my eyes held your image, your tears fell to Hell, Quenching fire with fire? i heard your last scream or was that a dream? or was it my own lack of foresight atoned? you fell, and you cried, and my selfishness died and your flesh, burning, held in its absence my own Hell. Folded up like a napkin, inhibition was satin, so smoothe and indulgent but how long could i hold it? i dropped it--or sold it for peace and release. for a glimpse of the sea, for the end of this pain, For the soft, cleansing rain... You lived and you died, and i died by your side. So you said "Don't forget" But my hands are still wet...

Up the ladder: To Lesley
Down the ladder: Waiting for the Doctor

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.470588
Weighted score: 4.5336957
Overall Rank: 12717
Posted: March 16, 2002 1:16 AM PST; Last modified: March 16, 2002 1:16 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Modulo @ | 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM | Reply
WOW! That was a very moving piece for me. Many emotions came through and your imagery and internal connections flow so smoothly that my mind never left your thoughts. A very great work!
[n/a] notule @ | 16-Mar-02/1:21 AM | Reply
rhyming has utility. i especially liked how it said a-toned instead of s-toned. the following is not personal: does anybody know how to wirte a poem that is not about death?
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