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Perversions 5: Kink vs. Mothra (Limerick) by razorgrin Salad Tossing
In prison's a very large man
Six-eight, quite tattooed, his name's Dan
With syrup or Spam
or blueberry jam
Of salad-tossing Dan will make you a fan.
Qualing
An eccentric professor at Yale
was consumed with a passion to quale.
That quirky old Phil
danced like Buffalo Bill
And wished he'd been born a female.
Disemboweling (for Trevor)
The landlord looked in with a scowl
"I've put up with perversions quite foul.
I don't mind what you do
Just clean up when you're through.
Use a Shop-Vac if you must disembowel!"
P.S. I have no idea if 'qualing' is spelled right. The fellow who wrote
it down for me is spectacularly bad at spelling. For those of you who
dispute the place of disembowelment in these poemes, it shows up because
Trev was talking about it as an arousing act. Don't blame me.
Up the ladder:
Loving You More Each Day
Down the ladder:
Cannikin
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.56
Posted: February 18, 2003 1:33 PM PST; Last modified: February 18, 2003 1:33 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.5599985 Overall Rank: 2444 Comments:
[8]
bunniesnangels @ 155.76.95.249
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18-Feb-03/1:46 PM
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Reply
There's no such word as "qualing" in my dictionary, but then again, I'm an American..
[n/a]
razorgrin @ 192.197.142.44
> bunniesnangels
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18-Feb-03/1:47 PM
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Reply
It is a sexual slang term as well. Could be 'quailing'. I don't want to look it up either way, so it shall remain a mystery.
it's Quailing named after that thingy that hangs in their face... lol. the last was the best.
Thank you. i liked the last one best as well.
The last one is excellent, but the other two don't seem as great, m'dear. Possibly because they don't really let people figure out what they're about as well as the others do.
The other two were difficult to explain without desending into mere vulgarity. I like the effect of leaving things a little suggestive.
LMAO.
thanks.
i hate it and its crap all of it i wouldn't be surprised if he copied it from his friend that he killed out of jealousy
That's the most inane statement I've heard since I last read your stuff. What di you mean, about trev copying it? he just told me the name of it.
odd. the words are interesting--but not rhythmically limericky.
you need double penetration undoubtedly.
Poemes huh? Fucking talentless poseur. You don't have the talent, you know? The talent. That's what's missing. Irreverence, gore, who gives a shit. Raise your hand. The class is silent.
Maybe you just suck. I have talent out the wazoo. You're the only one who complains, possibly only due to your own thwarted sex drive. See an analyst. I am a sexual surrealist genius. In closing, fuck you and the horse you long for, assmaggot.
tedious yet disturbing. i give you a 7
halfway thanks.
i give you a 10 for plagiarizing someone elses bad spelling. chump.
I give you a finger and a plague of irate candiru fish. I do not look up quialing, therefore I did not know of the exact spelling. I apologized in the poem if it was incorrect. I did not plagiarise, you snivelling little shit. I asked a dear friend for suggestions and he wrote me out a list of topics. As for spelling, you spelled "else's" improperly, leaving out the apostrophe denoting the posessive. However, I suppose I can expect that sort of churlishness from an insignificant little twit who would attempt to insult me in the manner you did. Now, kindly go make sweet love to a mid-sized saguaro cactus. Hugs 'n' kisses!
Prison rape isn't funny, despite what american mass media may have you believe. www.spr.org.
Nah, it's funny. soap droppage=comedy gold.
OOOOOK!
Disembowling is gross but it's funny. ^_^
Be sure to read my lates poem - Theology - It's amazing!!
That's what dictionaries are for, dude.
Interesting.
What is more arousing than that?? (Hint: nothing) Wait no, attractive girls, sorry, attractive girls are more arousing than killing things. But that's pretty fucking arousing let me tell you.
Did you write this or did someone else? Instead of inserting a phrase explaining your spelling errors, why not just take the time to use spell check?
Funny you should ask, fuckwit. I took the spelling of the word "quailing" from Trev because, as a sexual slang term, it isn't too fucking likely to be in Webster's. I asked him for some inspiration for the poemes as he's an inspiring kind of guy. Also, if you actually use spell check, you need to die immediately. The morality of the charming Mr. Trevor isn't up for debate, however. The explanatory phrase stands, but I have a rather surprising list of things that you should be inserting in your own body of work.I also take some serious offense at the suggestion of plagiarism. Them are indeed fightin' words
What do you mean by this curious phrase "salad tossing"? This poem does not serve well its ambiguity. Or its amby goo ity.
I blame you
Rather interesting
Not good. Where were you when the humour tablets were handed out?
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