poemranker ::i will not come to bangladesh by lost in america

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Free verse № 42886

i will not come to bangladesh

by lost in america

Member since 2003 · Posted 7 Mar 2003 · 25 comments

you send a picture with a last plea; before the monsoons stop the mail and boats take to the streets. shrouded in khimar a gaunt face i barely remember, but a smile to make all men stare in secret. in the last nights of america we drank until sloppy drunk, until leaving normal seemed the thing to do on a saturday night. you were brave and i loved you for it, but i had a job at the mill, and a dog to take care of, and a girl waiting at home that wouldn't understand how bad i needed you to stay. you have become used to the tropical heat, the blur of languages stuck in constant prayer, the poverty of children - the difference between comfort and fear; the swell of the Meghna, men with guns. tides of uncharted seas will not move me to breathe this foreign air, taste the delta against your lips, live my life over again only to drown.

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mean 6.03 weighted 6.03 rank 1240 views 298 View voting details →

37 votes so far. Yours would make 38.37 votes so far

25 comments

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Mar-03/12:07 PM Reply
A good try! But if you won't come to Bangladesh then that's racist. Apart from that, completely ace! I especially enjoyed the following:

(i) Great use of random line breaks and indentation to make the piece seem more profound!

(ii) Great use of lower case letters for the entire piece to make it look minimalist and deliberately understated!

(iii) Excellent reminiscing about how you both got sloppy drunk one night; those were the days - carefree, young and free-spirited, and carefree, and free, and free, and young. What memories. What happiness. What originalty.

(iv) Frankingstein is the name of the MONSTER. NOT the doctor who created him. It's a common misconception, and one you ought to consider before handing in your application for frozen justification.
[8] Bill Z Bub › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Mar-03/7:38 PM Reply
Frankingstein? That's not right, you fool! It's Frankenberry. Any literate cereal-box collector can tell you that. Sheezlouise.

me and count chocula got drunk one night
and painted frankenberry green.
that was a time of carefree
drunken carefree memory and
gallons of
milk
that we drowned that damned
annoying booberry in.
hey, cap'n crunch stole my hustler.
[10] horus8 › -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Mar-03/11:30 PM Reply
Frozen justification?

I didn't know they wired the mammoth to talk?

Interesting. You ever see Ringo Starr in that Caveman movie? Funny shite, mang.
[10] Shardik 7-Mar-03/12:08 PM Reply
That's good shit. Haven't i read this somewhere? Glad i didn't put my foot in my mouth. You are a better poet, and i could learn from you. Thanks, you're right i am still a boy, but i'm growing fast. Great poem.
[0] Bachus 7-Mar-03/3:06 PM Reply
One problem here. I don't like you or your poem any more. Stuffy dot head shit.
[n/a] lost in america › Bachus 7-Mar-03/3:13 PM Reply
Okay, thank you. But I believe you have mistaken the Muslim religion for Hinduism. Bangladesh is 80 percent Muslim. The rest is divided between a hodgepodge of Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism (or the dot head as you call it), among others. Some even tribal. The woman is question is neither of these, although I believe she was raised Lutheran. She teaches for the International American School. Just to give you a heads up. But considering the poem does deal with assumed stereotypes, I will cut you a bit of slack for the dot head comment.
[0] Bachus 7-Mar-03/3:09 PM Reply
I tried to be nice but you let it go to your head. On further review. You fail! It moves like a snake, but it tastes like chicken. I should send horus over, but that would really make you look bad so. see you later. Dickk
[n/a] lost in america › Bachus 7-Mar-03/3:14 PM Reply
I am not sure what you are talking about. Sounds more like rambling. But thanks.
[n/a] lost in america › Bachus 7-Mar-03/3:47 PM Reply
So let me get this straight, toby. Considering you seem to be about 100 different people in your head clique and wired many ranking powers, am I to believe that the only way I can get any real advice around this place is if I like all of your poems. What an interesting policy. And If I accidentally do not like one of the poems you wrote under any number of your user names I am to be labeled numerous form of creative profanity because you cannot seem to take any sort of criticism. Well okay then, just give me a list of all your people and I will give them all good tidings! lol.
[10] horus8 › lost in america 7-Mar-03/11:26 PM Reply
Sir, are you mad dogging the mob? Perhaps i am conducting an experiment. What if i said part of me likes this poem, and part of me hates it. The good news is the best comment you got was from da. your problem is right there. In other words, the style and structure is completely gauche, and artisticaly 'safe' Either go total concrete, or make the structure serve your words and story here, because that's where the good shit is. Here's a ten. Now Skiddadal. I never said you had to like anything. I'm just messing around with new theories of and within communication, lacking audio, and visual identification upon a computer. This was only a test.
[8] Bill Z Bub 7-Mar-03/7:41 PM Reply
I may lose my "cool", but I like
this poem. Yes sir, I like it
a bunch.
wunderbar! oktoberfest!
midnite madness!
[9] lastobelus 11-Mar-03/12:02 PM Reply
I like this poem a whack.

and pooh-poohing lowercase is old, it is meta-stuffiness. Capitals get in the way sometimes, it's as simple as that. Words are meant to be twisted and poked and well-used and fucked with. Kind of like^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hwoah, CAREFUL
[9] daniella 11-Mar-03/10:30 PM Reply
all the hoopla is well deserved
[9] lastobelus 13-Mar-03/5:59 AM Reply
it's a great poem but I still have to limerick you:

I think "lost in america"'s lost
and would be wheree'r he was tossed
he skipped Bangledesh
and some chick's willing flesh
because of the cultural cost.
[9] <~> 26-Mar-03/8:30 AM Reply
but will you come to connecticut?
[10] poetandknowit › <~> 30-Jul-03/3:15 PM Reply
No.
[9] <~> › poetandknowit 30-Jul-03/7:57 PM Reply
so you say.
[8] bondjedi 20-Apr-03/1:06 PM Reply
Not as sexy as the title would suggest - oh, I thought it said come ON Bangladesh. Sorry . You get an 8.
[8] baughworm 20-May-03/9:37 PM Reply
beautifully written
[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom 6-Jul-03/10:15 PM Reply
Indeed. Well said. A story well told, as only a slightly seasoned truth can be. -10-
[7] cleverdevice 8-Jul-03/7:57 AM Reply
don't come to bangladesh, its full of bangladeshi's! What, why the reaction? No-one complains when its about the french and their smelly cheese-eating-surrener-monkey antics!
[9] EAger to Offend 13-Jul-03/3:33 PM Reply
This poem is a lesson in conjuring images with words. I have signed up for the course and my cheque is in the mail.
Only, something in the end "feels" awkward. The brevity of "...only to drown", I think.
I may disagreee with myself after another read or two, though. 9 for the feelings. Encore!
[10] J.B. Manning 20-Aug-03/1:49 PM Reply
wow. A man of words I am, but I only have one for you. Wow.
[6] deleted user 27-Aug-03/1:49 PM Reply
nice
[1] Garrett S Sexton 26-Sep-03/8:25 AM Reply
wHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKWITS!