on Living Conditions by Christof
29 Dec 2002, 3:33 AM
Liked the last two lines, not sure about the mole.7.
on I wish.......... by little_angel_maria
18 Nov 2002, 10:41 AM
"Cealous of my looks" (sic). That is one conceited line, generally poor.2.
on A Little Life by Tom Colebrooke
18 Nov 2002, 10:37 AM
Hey, we all need something a little light weight once in a while. Amusing, one for the kids .8.
on Worth the wait by INTRANSIT
18 Nov 2002, 10:32 AM
Simple words, simple scenario, simply nice. 8.
on Frozen beauty by INTRANSIT
18 Nov 2002, 10:26 AM
You might not have known what an acrostic was ;), but you know how to write a great haiku .9.
on confused by little_angel_maria
16 Nov 2002, 1:54 AM
This is simply hilarious. Please, someone tell me this is a pastiche. I'm not voting 'till I hear. It's a 0 or a 10. It's the ultimate!
replying on The Land of Back-to-Front by [mojo]
13 Nov 2002, 2:44 PM
Thanks. But hey, which stanza didn't agree with you and why?
on lovely by pink_punk_kisses87
17 Sep 2002, 10:52 AM
The phrase "limp hair" made me feel slightly nauseous. It has to be said that this is an improvement on your last offering. I'll keep an eye out for your next.3.
Yes, that's what I thought, I was just testing...but still, I don't know..leaking...makes the narrator appear as an object rather than a person, it's very dehumanising. Maybe that's the effect you were after, but it looks a little as though you were just trying to avoid "crying" etc. 'cos you find the "easier" choice of word "amateur". The beginning of the piece is very subtle, maybe a punch of plain old ordinary words at the end would give it a "kick". Anyway, of all the words you could have used...leaking....hmmmm. Then again it got me interested so what the hell. It's nit-picking at best. Nice work.
on Hard Times by beakism
13 Sep 2002, 3:09 PM
Is that a "Christ on a bike" reference? Amusing.7.
It doesn't take long to realise there are only a handful of people posting anything rewarding here. You are on my list. Is there very slight assonance between "seawall" and "summer storm"? Very subtle. "Tide,rides,sky" I'm a sucker for rhyme. "Furious with my own leaking" jars slightly, would appreciate explanation of this line.9.
on America the Beautiful? by pink_punk_kisses87
13 Sep 2002, 3:03 PM
(sings) ..and the home of the...brave.! Another American outpouring, why do you lot feel so guilty? First stanza hopelessly cliched "a mother cries over a lost son" etc. Find something to be proud of and try to stop whining.2.
on Curse by OneFingerAnswer
13 Sep 2002, 2:57 PM
Pleasant enough. Couple of typos.7.
on winter every day (Don't bother reading this) by unknown
13 Sep 2002, 2:56 PM
Paints a picture, but treads that fine line between poetry and prose. Then again who's to say.7.
I welcome all comments, good or bad. However this latest offering from Bachus is simply indecipherable. I would appreciate an elaboration/translation. Or would that be a waste of time? What did Christof have to do with it? I'm afraid the reference to a tuxedo goes way over my head. Maybe I'm stupid, or maybe Bachus was trying to sound so clever that he confused himself. If you don't like one of my poems please tell me. Even better offer some advice, but please, keep this sort of nonsense to yourself.
on 9/11 by dougsoderstrom
13 Sep 2002, 11:39 AM
What's an Iraqian? Talk about know your enemy ;)
replying on 22nd Anniversary by Frass
12 Sep 2002, 2:50 PM
That's interesting Frass. I'll check that out.
on Life's Great Irony by Tascobar
12 Sep 2002, 2:42 PM
Call me a stick in the mud. Maybe if it was well writen I could forgive it's crassness. But it's not, it's just extremely childish. This is the last time I'll bother commenting on one of the many pieces of "litter" on this site. I am wasting my time. No vote.