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A Little Life (Free verse) by Tom Colebrooke The Humble little Bumblebee,
It fly's around oh cann't you see.
It comes from yonder little tree,
And stings people like you and me.
Afterwards it only dies,
And makes little children cry.
But all I want to know is why,
It can't just say a little 'Goodbye'.
Up the ladder:
The Phoebe Snow
Down the ladder:
definitely/maybe/mobius
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Posted: October 14, 2002 7:48 AM PDT; Last modified: October 14, 2002 7:48 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.4403987 Overall Rank: 2986 Comments:
Because it's a motherfucking bumblebee, that's why. What the hell is wrong with you?
Excellent. I love innane fun poems.
Hey, we all need something a little light weight once in a while. Amusing, one for the kids .8.
The first stanza is sweet, how about working on the second?
what is wrong with you people the only good line is "It can't just say a little 'Goodbye'" the rest is BS
You should know, if anyone should...
Well ill give you 2 for effort (all 2 minutes of it) and ill give you 1 for the poem as it has basic (very basic) poetic forms of rhyme and rhythm, therefore i give it a grand total (soo dosnt deserve this much) of 3
fly's <-- flies
cann't <-- can't cute poem, but in something so small the little problems really are mountains. flow/rhythm/etc are off and the rhymes feel forced. :/ 225 view(s)
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^..^
=(0)= Meow