nice non-haiku.

A 9/11 poem on 9/11 with another 9/11 poem somewhere in here written by the deevil himself. I think it rather bold to try to minimize such a hefty theme into such odd schematics. I wonder if other great tragedies like the holocaust and such went through a period where the writing was generic and over generalized before taking effect in a more personal sense and thus developing its own genre of quality (albeit depressing) literature.

I think you really oought to leave this to a poet who might have actually been there. Of course there are those professional hacks who can drum something up for the Prez. or Congress. I don't think they'd pay for this. Infact if we sent this to them they might lock you up for life as a enemy of the state and you'll never even get a chance to defend yourself as a misguided poet.

This is awful with or without the explanation. Try expanding the actual so called poem. Also the first image has been so over-used it 's best to avoid it. We allready know what you're talking about since you were foolish enought to title this thing 9/11. Aren't you sick of it yet 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11. It doesn't even have a proper name.

now, was that really necessary, doug? any of it?

Wow. How poetical. I hadn't realized poemranker was a forum for this kind of thing. Couldn't you have written it in such a way so that it was self-explanatory? Wouldn't that have been the better option, instead of lashing out like this? Honestly, it wasn't very much of an effort. Why be so angry in your defense of it? Did you ever thinkg that they (the idiots, that is, were provoking you because the poem itself does nothing but make them cring? Sorry to be so harsh, but jeez!

Who's God? Because I kind of look like my Mom and Pops. well hopefully more my mom but as I get older I see my dad, ugh. He was ugly, you know. So are they god? Well my daughters look a bit like me, although my fist one is probably a mutt considering my ex slept with, well she probably even slept with you doug. So, am I god? Wow. You know them CHRISTians are pretty wacky themselves.

Dear Doug: since I am the house roach here and everybody else seems to have wandered back to their lives I will try to answer your questions. First off, I do not think many of the folks who have responded to your poem lacked an understanding of it. I know that on first read it was quite clear what you were saying, although I did not pinpoint it as Iraq but took it to mean our lovely "war on terrorism." As far as your comment to beaker, technically yes, a haiku is not restricted to the 5/7/5. It is basically an American translation of the haiku. So you are right there, but in almost all cases a haiku is under 17 syllables, which this is not, so he is correct in questioning the style. Also a haiku tends to focus on one image, although the creator of this site will argue that two contrasting images are necessary, which you have incorporated into the poem. Traditionally, using simplistic imagery is what brought about the haiku's depth, but in this case, you not only use burden-laden imagery, but border on cliche. The lovely (oh if you only look like the image I have in my head) God's Wife was making the case that the best artistic works, especially on areas relating to real events are usually best tackled by those who experienced it first hand. I realize we all experienced it first hand in some sort, although I was in bed, but the general philosophy in formalist literary circles is "write what you know, know what you right." As far as your comments to Limeness, I think she, like all of us were a bit amused by the tedious explanation of a poem most of us were well equipped intellectually to understand. It really is not deep or complex at all - simple imagery, simple metaphor, etc. And my comments regarding Christianity were not in reference to the poem, but to the comments. Just trying to keep it real and light. And last but not least, a good majority of the folks on this site are not American and thus were not affected as Americans. So that is always good to remember. 8>pk

What's an Iraqian? Talk about know your enemy ;)

Explain this?????????????!!! Sorry Dougy but where are you a prof? Do they give degree's away free with every bag of cheesy wotsits?

doug, I am astounded at your ability to respond to points that were never made. Perhaps if you were more willing to consider criticism, people would accept your arguments; but you seem determined to hide behind the 'sensitive' nature of this poem in an attempt to deflect criticism. But most of the criticism you have received does not concern the subject of the poem (criticism which, I believe, is well justified); instead it attacks the execution of the poem. By posting your poem on this forum you open yourself to criticism, yet you refuse to face it, instead insisting that anybody who dislikes the poem has a problem with yor religion or politics or nationality.

this haiku sure has a lot of syllables .....

dougsoderstrom, do you love me?

lol! more dark angel tom-foolery, or perhaps you left your cupboard door open then stood up to fast? the lord jesu has saved you. save yourself. run. duck. mormon's have drowned more children than john the babtist care for some water?

no haiku.

dosnt everyone think 11/9/01 was a good day fro the world? (just thought iwould mention all you american fools put the date wrong)

mawkish and trite. As substantial as a United Way commercial.

um...interesting viewpoint (i very much agree with not going to war in irag). one thing...is this really a haiku? i thought the form was 575. maybe i'm reading something wrong.

groovy.

groovy. a bit wordy for a haiku, eh?

Very insightful words. My oldest son that is 25 now has been to Iraq twice now. God Bless him. I like this poem very much. Good description.