poemranker ::Snow-White by vulcan

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Free verse № 20195

Snow-White

by vulcan

Member since 2002 · Posted 14 Oct 2002 · Edited 14 Oct 2002 · 17 comments

They cannot make me smile,these baleful balls of snow Though they've made me a snowman Of swelling red nose,wrapped up in a gown of Sorrow. As still as Death that speaks not but overwhelms I move on like a ghost embracing the Night. Through the howling storm and the White-Cloaks'scowl I walk on with my Soul And a murmur now unsound "O my unconquerable Sole!"

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17 comments

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 14-Oct-02/7:31 AM Reply
Oh good God, no!! Not an "GOWN OF SORROW"!!! I bought my gown from a very disreputable Merchante who had but a badmington racquet where his face should have been. Perhaps it is a GOWN OF SORROW.
[1] <~> 14-Oct-02/8:01 AM Reply
my carp could conquer your sole any day. with his fins tied behind his back, even.
[n/a] god'swife 14-Oct-02/8:11 AM Reply
Overwhelmed by snowmen? Have been raised in So.Cal. I suppose I'm not one to judge really. That's one scary snowman.
[1] <~> › god'swife 14-Oct-02/8:25 AM Reply
v-this poem is fraught with mixed imagery. you mean to make it sorrowful, but the snowman with the swollen nose makes it comical. and, please, check your spelling. a 'sole' and a 'soul' are very different.
[1] <~> › <~> 14-Oct-02/8:29 AM Reply
to what end? i don't get it.
[n/a] vulcan › <~> 14-Oct-02/8:33 AM Reply
Think please of the Unsound murmur and a man who Thinks is walking by his Soul and ends in a murmur (a mortal murmur)that says quite the reverse
[1] <~> › vulcan 14-Oct-02/8:40 AM Reply
vulcan, i have read and re-read this poem, and i do not consider myself a dense person, so i must conclude that:

a) i am not as well-read as you, and you are alluding to something i perhaps should have read, that would be the key to unlock the poem

b) the metaphor is clear in your mind, but has not translated well to the reader at large

c) i am dense
[1] <~> › <~> 14-Oct-02/8:54 AM Reply
e) maybe if vulcan decides if the snow has made the protagonist into a snow man, or if some one has meade a snowman for the amusement of the protagonist, and conveys that more clearly; maybe if vulcan can explain how the balls of snow are balful; maybe if vulcan can explain how said protagonist is still yet moving through a storm (which generally requires a struggle) 'as Death' implies the protagonist not being dead; maybe vulcan mean he/she is doomed to walk in the snowstorm forever, and thus the use of 'sole'? have i hit on any of your main points, and if so, COULD YOU PLEASE pare the damn thing down and try NOT to be obscure? one may write worlds that taste diaphanous without occluding the vision.
[1] <~> › <~> 14-Oct-02/9:03 AM Reply
jesus, vulcan, it just doesn't work like that. it's too archaic sounding, and doesn't come off that way at all. sorry.
[n/a] god'swife 14-Oct-02/8:19 AM Reply
Well, he''s dressed in sorrow, compares himself to death, and grieves for his soul.
[1] <~> 14-Oct-02/9:04 AM Reply
and, calling it 'snow-white' conjurs disney for me. now i am not everyman, but i think you might consider the efeect the title has on the piece overall.
[1] <~> 14-Oct-02/9:10 AM Reply
i like what you are trying to say, but you are not communicating it effectively
[8] loneshadow29 14-Oct-02/9:11 AM Reply
such sorrow in your words... good read vulcan :o)
[9] deleted user 14-Oct-02/12:50 PM Reply
If the baleful balls have to do with wailing sirens, as you say, then why would you even consider smiling? Who are you referring to when you say 'they', the snow balls? If the snowballs are your antagonist, then being one of your poem's "main characters", why did you not capitalize snowballs as you did Sorrow, Death, and Soul, etc, to give the word more personality and character? Anyway, I liked your poem overall.
[n/a] Christof 17-Oct-02/5:55 AM Reply
I'm taking it that the 'Sole' refers to the solitary?
[n/a] vulcan › Christof 18-Oct-02/8:25 AM Reply
Thanks for the comments Christof!yes mental and physical loneliness!a deranged moment in a distorted image of self.
[3] ciantu 23-Nov-02/10:36 PM Reply
ok