Poemranker [Replying] Thu Nov 21 19:05:03 PST 2024

Replying to a comment on:

They cannot make me smile,these baleful balls of snow Though they've made me a snowman Of swelling red nose,wrapped up in a gown of Sorrow. As still as Death that speaks not but overwhelms I move on like a ghost embracing the Night. Through the howling storm and the White-Cloaks'scowl I walk on with my Soul And a murmur now unsound "O my unconquerable Sole!"

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14-Oct-02/8:54 AM

e) maybe if vulcan decides if the snow has made the protagonist into a snow man, or if some one has meade a snowman for the amusement of the protagonist, and conveys that more clearly; maybe if vulcan can explain how the balls of snow are balful; maybe if vulcan can explain how said protagonist is still yet moving through a storm (which generally requires a struggle) 'as Death' implies the protagonist not being dead; maybe vulcan mean he/she is doomed to walk in the snowstorm forever, and thus the use of 'sole'? have i hit on any of your main points, and if so, COULD YOU PLEASE pare the damn thing down and try NOT to be obscure? one may write worlds that taste diaphanous without occluding the vision.

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