on Loud Taps by celiff
13 Mar 2003, 9:34 AM
title must go--eliminate redundancies--haiku is too short for repetition.
on Aries, the God of war by Shardik
13 Mar 2003, 9:33 AM
hooving rams crash horns
on Hippy's Ode to Eternity by bondjedi
13 Mar 2003, 9:31 AM
title stinks. first two lines are great. last is lacking.
on Crucifixion by Mr Pig
13 Mar 2003, 9:30 AM
I like wine and bread, too.
on Missing You by psychedelic
13 Mar 2003, 9:28 AM
get rid of addressing the reader as "you", and escape from the ordinary in line 2.
on Grampa's Proverb by OneFingerAnswer
13 Mar 2003, 9:27 AM
grandpa liked moonshine, didn't he?
on Tears For You by mckenzie
13 Mar 2003, 9:22 AM
craftless. try again.
on Manifest Destiny by wordontheverge
5 Mar 2003, 9:57 AM
bravo, bravo. you should be proud of this. Can I use this in one of my classes? (I am a teacher)
that is a crock of shit! if you copy something word for word and say you wrote it, whether it is "public domain" or not, it is wrong to do. you cannot say that you wrote it when you didn't. if it was "research" you should have given credit to the original author or your source. this is offensive that you would try to defend yourself for this action which you know is wrong and goes against what this site and writing poetry is all about. You would get more respect by fessing up than by weasling around.
on The Kansas City Chiefs suck by Jeremi B. Handrinos
3 Mar 2003, 7:58 AM
lose comma after "city". lose second stanza.
on i said, he said by eyzwdeshut
3 Mar 2003, 7:53 AM
nice form, trite topic, but nice form. perhaps more precise images or specific details...
on Iterated Fuck by nentwined
3 Mar 2003, 7:44 AM
all righty then.
on One Moment to the Other (v2) by nentwined
3 Mar 2003, 7:42 AM
a good attempt. seems to miss saying something important.
on outside my reach by eyzwdeshut
3 Mar 2003, 7:40 AM
read: I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' (by zero)
on outside my reach by eyzwdeshut
3 Mar 2003, 7:39 AM
read: I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' (by zero)
on I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike
3 Mar 2003, 7:39 AM
extremely insightful. I read thousands of these types of poems, but just called them awful and trite.
on Perversions 5: Kink vs. Mothra by razorgrin
3 Mar 2003, 7:36 AM
odd. the words are interesting--but not rhythmically limericky.
on For her he swam with sharks by Shardik
3 Mar 2003, 5:39 AM
I liked it all right. 8.
on The Flight of Childhood by Ellie95
3 Mar 2003, 5:37 AM
Certainly could have had more specific images and less superfluous words. has a certain "greeting card" quality that borders on stomach virus.