Re: Loud Taps by celiff	13-Mar-03/9:34 AM
title must go--eliminate redundancies--haiku is too short for repetition.
Re: Aries, the God of war by Shardik	13-Mar-03/9:33 AM
hooving rams crash horns
Re: Hippy's Ode to Eternity by bondjedi	13-Mar-03/9:31 AM
title stinks. first two lines are great. last is lacking.
Re: Crucifixion by Mr Pig	13-Mar-03/9:30 AM
I like wine and bread, too.
Re: Missing You by psychedelic	13-Mar-03/9:28 AM
get rid of addressing the reader as "you", and escape from the ordinary in line 2.
Re: Grampa's Proverb by OneFingerAnswer	13-Mar-03/9:27 AM
grandpa liked moonshine, didn't he?
Re: Tears For You by mckenzie	13-Mar-03/9:22 AM
craftless. try again.
Re: Manifest Destiny by wordontheverge	5-Mar-03/9:57 AM
bravo, bravo. you should be proud of this. Can I use this in one of my classes? (I am a teacher)
Re: a comment on Jack by MuDvAyNe	3-Mar-03/9:34 AM
that is a crock of shit! if you copy something word for word and say you wrote it, whether it is "public domain" or not, it is wrong to do. you cannot say that you wrote it when you didn't. if it was "research" you should have given credit to the original author or your source. this is offensive that you would try to defend yourself for this action which you know is wrong and goes against what this site and writing poetry is all about. You would get more respect by fessing up than by weasling around.
Re: The Kansas City Chiefs suck by Jeremi B. Handrinos	3-Mar-03/7:58 AM
lose comma after "city". lose second stanza.
Re: i said, he said by eyzwdeshut	3-Mar-03/7:53 AM
nice form, trite topic, but nice form. perhaps more precise images or specific details...
Re: Karma by blankel	3-Mar-03/7:46 AM
almost funny. almost serious. tough to do well. the rhyme scheme makes it hard to take seriously.
Re: Iterated Fuck by nentwined	3-Mar-03/7:44 AM
all righty then.
Re: One Moment to the Other (v2) by nentwined	3-Mar-03/7:42 AM
a good attempt. seems to miss saying something important.
Re: outside my reach by eyzwdeshut	3-Mar-03/7:40 AM
read: I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' (by zero)
Re: outside my reach by eyzwdeshut	3-Mar-03/7:39 AM
read: I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' (by zero)
Re: I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike	3-Mar-03/7:39 AM
extremely insightful. I read thousands of these types of poems, but just called them awful and trite.
Re: Perversions 5: Kink vs. Mothra by razorgrin	3-Mar-03/7:36 AM
odd. the words are interesting--but not rhythmically limericky.
Re: For her he swam with sharks by Shardik	3-Mar-03/5:39 AM
I liked it all right. 8.
Re: The Flight of Childhood by Ellie95	3-Mar-03/5:37 AM
Certainly could have had more specific images and less superfluous words. has a certain "greeting card" quality that borders on stomach virus.