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Grampa's Proverb (Haiku) by OneFingerAnswer
When man uses a flame To kill a phoenix he makes His new enemy

Up the ladder: Farewell Song

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 40
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 21
.. 30
.. 30

Arithmetic Mean: 3.7777777
Weighted score: 3.8357427
Overall Rank: 13477
Posted: February 4, 2003 3:10 PM PST; Last modified: February 5, 2003 3:02 PM PST
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Comments:
[7] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 | 5-Feb-03/8:15 AM | Reply
Aside from the massacre of the word phoenix, the syllable count is wrong.
Still not bad.
How about:
"when man uses flame
to kill a phoenix, he makes
his own enemy"
or
"a new enemy"
Either way. Unless you don't care that it's not a Haiku, in which case, it's cool.
[n/a] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.5 > Bill Z Bub | 5-Feb-03/2:58 PM | Reply
Oops Yeah I can't count or spell. Oh well...
[7] Ranger @ 212.67.106.117 | 5-Feb-03/12:34 PM | Reply
Nice proverb aside from the syllables.
[9] brazen @ 68.84.225.163 | 6-Feb-03/6:49 AM | Reply
phoenix...favorite bird. the only one i know that won't shit on my car. here, have a 9.
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 7-Feb-03/12:53 PM | Reply
Check your first line.
the rest is complimentable.
[n/a] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.5 > horus8 | 7-Feb-03/2:47 PM | Reply
I tried fixing that... Damn it. Oh well.
[0] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.53 | 13-Feb-03/12:50 PM | Reply
When (1) + man(1) + uses(2) + a(1) + flame(1)= 6. (a)You can't count, assmachine. (b)Dumb statement worthy only of "proverbs for dummies" books. (c)Poorly written, overall. Therefore, a zero.
[5] ==Doylum @ 62.64.235.45 > razorgrin | 13-Feb-03/1:06 PM | Reply
Ere(1) can(2) i(3) ave(4) a(5) go(6) at(7) that(8)= ?
I don't count Romaplegicromcocking bumwagon driver.
[0] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.53 > ==Doylum | 13-Feb-03/1:12 PM | Reply
I was just proving that onefinger is a hypocritical dicksmack. that and today is Constant Cursing Thursday!
[5] ==Doylum @ 62.64.235.45 > razorgrin | 13-Feb-03/1:20 PM | Reply
and i was calling anuspickingringfinger a romaplegicromcocking bumwagon driver
[0] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.53 > ==Doylum | 13-Feb-03/1:22 PM | Reply
I appreciate it. have some cookies, they're made with the souls of the damned and sugar.
[n/a] god'swife @ 209.178.177.31 > razorgrin | 13-Feb-03/2:32 PM | Reply
Home-made I presume. Such expense ingredients for an undergrad. Care to swap recipes? I have make a mince-meat pie people just 'die' for, if you get my meaning...

Hey OneFinger, what if he uses a gun, knife, poison, etc. Does the bird still come out of it singing?
[5] ==Doylum @ 62.64.229.162 > god'swife | 13-Feb-03/3:51 PM | Reply
No please explain some more!
[5] ==Doylum @ 62.64.229.162 > ==Doylum | 13-Feb-03/3:53 PM | Reply
just logged on again to see what people have said, i'll keep on logging on and logging on and logging on and logging on and logging on logging on and logging on and logging on and logging on and logging on, de you get it yet?
[n/a] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.5 > razorgrin | 13-Feb-03/8:30 PM | Reply
a) Let's see. Can we read? I already said I tried editing it. Thank you anyway. b) Why give you a book of proverbs you don't understand? If I put it in that book you still wouldn't get the point. c) Rank how you want.
[0] razorgrin @ 142.166.250.207 | 13-Feb-03/8:47 PM | Reply
if you tried to edit it, you failed miserably.(b),that is the most shab-ass grade school attempt at a comeback I've ever read. worse than the rubber/glue thing. The poeme is bad. face it. last, I will continue to rank how I choose, sir.
[7] Robert K Foster @ 209.68.67.7 | 7-Mar-03/7:41 AM | Reply
"a" rather than "his" perhaps?
[7] hipster flare @ 209.68.67.7 | 13-Mar-03/9:27 AM | Reply
grandpa liked moonshine, didn't he?
[1] bondjedi @ 216.163.73.66 | 5-Apr-03/7:04 PM | Reply
6-7-5
[n/a] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 > bondjedi | 6-Apr-03/3:38 PM | Reply
Congrats you're the millionth person to not read the other comments. I tried editing it and it didn't take. I don't care to try again. Get off my ass.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.102 | 12-Jun-03/4:54 AM | Reply
Grandfather's Proverb (Haiku) by -=Dark_Angel=-

In his shaving vest
Grandfather is more than old:
He's a lunatic.
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