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Crucifixion (Haiku) by Mr Pig Romans laughing,
wine saturates holy bread,
Judas eats his supper.
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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.6578946
Posted: February 20, 2003 9:07 AM PST; Last modified: February 21, 2003 12:49 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.6578135 Overall Rank: 2090 Comments:
[10]
Shardik @ 24.126.113.154
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20-Feb-03/1:28 PM
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Reply
This is profound, but CAN YOU FUCKING COUNT FOR THE UPTILIANTH TIME 18 18 18 18 IT NEEDS TO BE 17 17 17 . NOW this is a choice haiku. lose the AS inh S2, and i'll ten it many times taking you into the mid sixes 666 (i have lobbyists abroad on the hill, see).
fantastic - almost biblical, yet strangely crappy.
Hmmm, it was the jews who laughed, the romans were completely uninterested. I prefer blood to wine, though the tie in with supper is a good one. The title invokes a different scene. Right a haiku about the action in the title, keep this one and give it a different title. Judas is one of my favorite characters in this myth. Keep exploring him. Have you seen The Last Temptation of Christ?
Sidnt you hear the story of the 2 romans who laughed as the 3rd prayed forgiveness? its myth but I liked that story. Yes I have peter gabriels music too for the last temptation of christ and one recommends it is so beautiful and the film is in my top 3 of all faves, willem defoe deserved an oscar.
I have taken your advice my dear girl and am delighted with the outcome, also a thank you to shardik, well done my friends, thanks
I will tell you this though, read all of my poems and you will see
what it is your looking for is not in my style, you are so obviously english, i am an american nomad, a toss out, an autodidact and most of all looking for something other than you. i don't mind people drawing similarities, and i do think you have your own style, so tell me why do i get phone calls from people calling me a pig, mr. pig. care to share your recipe. i warn you though... i'm not one to cater events, so be quick or void. who knows perhaps... we might talk outside of this barrel scraping ballyhoo.
I love the last line. I can picture it, you know the look on his face as he's trying to swallow. Wonderful.
hee hee. you are good i'll give you that. zzinnia thinks you are me psycho chick part ten thinks that you are me, but you are not me. so, trickster... i will call you loki in compliment and say good show. nice revision. here are your tens. enjoy your secret. URSA MAJOR HONEY CONE AWARDE! 10. ps. i would wager you are cadacus, but hightened and evolved...the blooding was an exceptional poem, but really, i can see the difference in our poetry, obviously. why they cannot eludes me.
overall though it is neither here nor there.
This is much better than the other two. The bread and wine must only mix inside the body; internalisation of himself. Now, are these sincere Christian poems (i.e. are you writing from a position of faith) are are you simply using the imagery? In a sense what the poet actually believes shouldn't matter, but I'm curious.
mighty good. clever.
CLEVER, AND SHORT JUST LIKE MY DAD
very nice10
Loved the trilogy pig dude
two nits:
wine saturated the sponge; you seem to be implying that judas dined on holy bread that evening.
My dear please accept my apologies for the delay in responding. Wine saturates holy bread is mataphoric for blood saturates Jesus flesh and Judas eats his supper on the night he died the day after he sat with Jesus when they shared supper, 2 paralells of good and ...well lets just say not so good.
accepted, my fine and loyal swine. but i think your metaphors mix too much here. it's a stretch, but not so outrageous a stretch as to chink! into place.
4
7 6 nice thought, though.
COOL
I REMEMBER SEEING THE ROMANS IN THE CHILDRENS BIBLE LAUGHING AND I LOVED THE WAY YOU THREW IN THE BREAD AND WINE GREAT METAPHORS FOR SUFFERING AND JUDAS THE FAT BASTARD EATING SUPPER - REALLY GOOD WELL DONE 9
Profound!! Genius!! Sure it is. Look up the haiku!!
Oh how lovely a response from the Lord.
I like wine and bread, too.
too short and no point or purpose, im not quite sure how this got on the top 15 list, prolly because the users would rather sit around and trash other peoples stuff than write their own stuff
I think you misunderstand the concept of a haiku, thay are meant to be short. The point or purpose is there for you to see but you are missing the point so many others have comprehended.
1) Romans laughing ( as they did in the childrens bible at christs sufferance on the cross. 2) Wine saturates holy bread = wine is blood bread is body of christ, blood pours from christs wounds. 3) juas eats supper as christ is dying, that is the irony judas eats supper again after the last supper, the traitor consumes his saviour. Patience is required when perusing a haiku, it is not in design meant to be an instant fix ofunderstanding, this has a meaning if you look for it.
The piece of writing is by no mean deep nor requires much in the way of thought. It says nothing profound and is merely for a good laugh.
Like your comment then Sir ?
Sure, it's called Good Friday, but Judas eating while Jesus is hanging on a cross is no laughing matter. It's a great Haiku (well, it's 4 7 6 and not 5 7 5 but that's ok given the subject matter). It's a well written excellent piece.
Why the fuck is this in the top 10?
One would guess Bobjim its in the top 10 for the same reason you are not. I see you have made sure it isn't anymore though. I apologize profusely that you disliked it, maybe your right, maybe your wrong, thats what I find so diggity dog about poetry, everyones opinion is so different.
Maybe you want to check your syllable count?
4-7-6
what happened to 5-7-5? 4-7-6 is new to me...
Pretty much any - short, long, short- is acceptable in most circles.
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