on Air sickness bag by Shardik
17 Jun 2003, 10:52 AM
cute
on The Bastard Earth by Kitch
17 Jun 2003, 10:51 AM
a bit didactic and part of the end verse was far too 'ricki lake'
but some good parts second verse is thought provoking but perhaps a bit clumsy
but some good parts second verse is thought provoking but perhaps a bit clumsy
on The Contract (2nd draft) by scitz
17 Jun 2003, 10:45 AM
a couple of nice beat esque bits
'like we believe in a politician' and asterisk....
the end doesn't need to be so definitive though
'like we believe in a politician' and asterisk....
the end doesn't need to be so definitive though
on One Night Stand by Audaciouslilgrl
14 Jun 2003, 10:48 AM
I do feel this a bit
but it is rather ordinary
good try though
but it is rather ordinary
good try though
on once again by John by <{Baba^Yaga}>
14 Jun 2003, 10:45 AM
I dont understand your motivation for writing this.
on Sittin Here by psikosis
14 Jun 2003, 10:42 AM
No, this is too obvious the rhyme/ the sentiment
Try get to the root of the feeling and its relation to other things
Try get to the root of the feeling and its relation to other things
on In (ghazal) by INTRANSIT
14 Jun 2003, 10:40 AM
Interesting to us something modern and consumer as a truck to illustrate 'the beauty of the all'
I think the snappy sentences work well and fit together there is nothing too obvious to make me cringe here
a pleasant read
I think the snappy sentences work well and fit together there is nothing too obvious to make me cringe here
a pleasant read
I guess you've rubbed someone up the wrong way the sheer number of zeros you get is quite impressive
I do think these poems need a lot more personal thought and insight though they seem a bit assinine
and the statements seem unqualified
I got loads of bad marks when i first came on here. I guess you have to read the work of your audience and learn some lessons from it
Then if you get good you can do your own thing again a nd be pretentious like a proper artist!
I do think these poems need a lot more personal thought and insight though they seem a bit assinine
and the statements seem unqualified
I got loads of bad marks when i first came on here. I guess you have to read the work of your audience and learn some lessons from it
Then if you get good you can do your own thing again a nd be pretentious like a proper artist!
on How I fuck Freud off in the shower by horus8
13 Jun 2003, 10:43 AM
I laughed when i read 11
on Goddess of the vineyard by INTRANSIT
13 Jun 2003, 10:41 AM
yes nice logic/ flow
a bit in the spirit of an extended haiku
a bit in the spirit of an extended haiku
on Coloured waifs home by horus8
12 Jun 2003, 10:41 AM
yes a good haiku wistful is a word everyone seems to use. I think it apt
on Secret Identities Revealed by thepinkbunnyofdoom
8 Jun 2003, 4:11 AM
thanks for the reference
i haven't ranked this
i don't think that was the point
(some people obviously do)
i haven't ranked this
i don't think that was the point
(some people obviously do)
on Secret Identities Revealed by thepinkbunnyofdoom
7 Jun 2003, 12:23 PM
why the queen mum of england?
on Remember-me (an ode to those dropped off at the clinic) by Bachus
6 Jun 2003, 10:28 AM
abortion is in the air today
on Thracian mountains until the Sea by Shardik
6 Jun 2003, 10:25 AM
zippy piece
I'm glad you get the story across without too many references
It'd just make me feel ignorant
I'm glad you get the story across without too many references
It'd just make me feel ignorant