Re: Break Down by Jeremi B. Handrinos	6-Jun-03/10:21 AM
never know how to write song lyrics This is a good stab perhaps an incendiary line or too to spice it up?
Re: wish by daniella	5-Jun-03/10:50 AM
interesting set out, It can be read as a single line, Very sweet sentiment
Re: Taliban Ambush by scitz	5-Jun-03/10:47 AM
yes very evocative
Re: sharkmouth by Bill Z Bub	5-Jun-03/10:44 AM
I like the structure, very inventive
Re: A Moment In Nowhere by Mr Pig	5-Jun-03/10:42 AM
'all men are pigs' after she said that did you introduce yourself (as mr pig) ? very sweet poem as ever, moving in images
Re: Life begins when you graduate H.S. by INTRANSIT	3-Jun-03/1:19 PM
I like rap wordplay but it sometimes seems a bit freestyle and craftless A haiku however is a good compromise
Re: The Outcry by thepinkbunnyofdoom	3-Jun-03/1:07 PM
A couple of nice lines reads more like a mission statement than a poem though
Re: Luekemia Tacosalad by Shardik	31-May-03/3:26 AM
cool, kind of impressionist
Re: I shot speed by horus8	31-May-03/3:24 AM
very good Rap in style and it actually functions as a poem 'chump with your bandana' certainly echoes
Re: In Swaddling Cloths by Blue Magpie	27-May-03/10:28 AM
Nice the bottom two lines first stanza don't really fit into the structure. You have used obvious rhyme but resisted using obvious in between the rhymes
Re: the midget of humiliation by Bill Z Bub	27-May-03/10:26 AM
lots of imagery If i have one criticism it is the careless use of words such as demonic. I need luring in a bit more
Re: Fit In by A Simple Poet 123	27-May-03/10:20 AM
simple sentiments, but I read some of your cliches and wonder if you really mean them dying inside is a bit hyperbolous
Re: Timing by INTRANSIT	27-May-03/10:16 AM
yes nice feel and structure Perhaps not ambitious enough though
Re: The punch drunk underwriter by horus8	23-May-03/10:13 AM
always like the vast spectrum of language Anger and abuse are common this not so
Re: Original words (spectacularly stolen) by Bachus	23-May-03/10:08 AM
a lot of stuff covered I quite liked the middle its rhyming sped it up inspired by subterranian homesick blues?
Re: The canary's last song by <{Baba^Yaga}>	23-May-03/10:05 AM
cute haiku
Re: may 18 by Bill Z Bub	20-May-03/10:17 AM
yes i like the structure, and rhyming fingers and nimbus is genius well done
Re: Tingling by INTRANSIT	20-May-03/10:15 AM
yes I agree this is kind of wild and it works well But I do think the word crimson in poetry should be banned Other than that good
Re: The Order Of Things by Mr Pig	20-May-03/10:11 AM
Bold as ever, perhaps a little alice in wonderland in its focus on detail and fantasy Perhaps try making it a bit shorter brevity and wit and all
Re: Expired (early horus8 before the change) by Jeremi B. Handrinos	18-May-03/7:28 AM
some nice lines, I couldn't be bothered reading all of it. Some greek poets took all their life writing poems this long. Try have more confidence that a few lines will show your ability