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The Bastard Earth (Free verse) by Kitch
I hate your fucking earth and its social rules. So I take myself away from the hypocrisy, Born from a place of conformist fools, I believe the lies are found in your ‘honesty’. Reading an article today from an opinionated priest, Believing that what he had to say was food for thought. A thought that turned the last supper in to a feast, He says we are lost, Says we only have ourselves to blame, Saying we put Jesus, the necromancer who freed us on a cross, And that the only warmth in return we gave him was ignorance, Implying that morals are dying, And that only God’s church could save us, That we should pray for redemption, Because get this, Because God made us. I believe in freedom of speech, Just not from the mouth of a corrupt institution, Who hides behind God, While they preach from a Church built on blood and bones. I say let God have a gander, At the Vatican propaganda, And make them see what we’re forced to accept, From an early age our identity was divorced from liberty, Let him see the truth under the carpet you swept, And the Bullshit that steams from respectable statesmen. So don’t live your lives to the 10 sins of stone, It’s the one single reason why you feel so alone, We are mortal not messiahs, We have dreams and desires, There is no Devil, no Angels or Christ, Just this shit earth and a short fucking life, So stop wallowing and whining The sun might be shining, If not here then find it, Soon you’ll be dead and worm feed, So lick your wounds make someone else bleed.

Up the ladder: Within

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.3333335
Weighted score: 5.1666665
Overall Rank: 5015
Posted: June 11, 2003 3:20 PM PDT; Last modified: June 17, 2003 8:43 AM PDT
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[7] richa @ | 17-Jun-03/10:51 AM | Reply
a bit didactic and part of the end verse was far too 'ricki lake'

but some good parts second verse is thought provoking but perhaps a bit clumsy
[8] Mr Pig (again) @ | 17-Jun-03/11:05 AM | Reply
Some parts were quite the shot game, it will come my boy, it will come. 7
[7] horus8 @ | 17-Jun-03/11:47 AM | Reply
Some really intense sections, but then you fumble, and on top of that it's fat, no sweat, all of my early work was fat too, better fat that skin for the winter is what I say, but an important point I can help you with here is try not to allow synthetic hate to warp your ideas, in other words, hate what you know for sure, then apply that to what you want and imagine thematicly, not vice versa, otherwise it comes out on the paper sounding like a flat can of cheese wiz and contrived. I see much promise here though, I want you to know that.
[n/a] Kitch @ > horus8 | 17-Jun-03/1:26 PM | Reply
Noted !
and thanks for the suave advice I get it. By the way H8 i have a shit load of stuff still to enter which might be fat. When I have written a new poem I will let you know and you can see if its matured.

I wanna learn from the Yoda's of Poemranker so come on y'all help me out here, I'm a young buck in a strange town and I need some !
[7] horus8 @ | 17-Jun-03/11:51 AM | Reply
Did you read about the bishop in Phoenix, Arizona? Hit and run, drunk, (pedestrian) left the body there and went home with a shattered windshield...Coincidentaly, he was one of the kiddy foddler priests indicted last year, YES! Moments like these baby I just lick my lips red.
[n/a] Kitch @ > horus8 | 17-Jun-03/1:29 PM | Reply
Bishops ! I mean what the fuck are they? what do they do? other than conspire, rape, manipulate the very peace they are supposed to promote. Most of them are all fudgepackers with a penchant for ass trophy's. Those robes they wear would scare the shit out any child going to be 'initiated' fuck no, save our kids, preserve their innocence.
[9] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ | 17-Jun-03/12:36 PM | Reply
I hated the first stanza, it was shit to be honest but the rest works well for the most part. There are some nice lines here, and some shitty ones too. I loved "Identity was divorced from liberty", quite smashing indeed. As for Angels I can see you haven't met our own -=Dark_Angel=- and all I can say is may -=Jesu=- Be as kind to you as I am. -9-
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