Re: On getting back by horus8	9-Sep-03/7:41 AM
image and ambiguity, violence a fine piece
Re: the blessed by forevergreen	7-Sep-03/3:44 AM
pain is a gift?
Re: What's World Peace? by DeadtotheWorld	6-Sep-03/12:37 PM
I am sure much of this is true, but it needs framing better. A different perspective, something to interest the cynic
Re: a comment on Pray For Cum By JesusFreak (parody of CLS's pray for help) by DreamerSupreme	4-Sep-03/8:19 AM
I would not be surprised if it was but parodies are so derrivative. Why would you write mocking something you thought not worthy of artistic consideration. It is like tabloid journalists spending their lives trailling some guy and then calling him a waste of space.
Re: none by tadpole	4-Sep-03/7:58 AM
ok, it seems a bit distant of any poetic insight. More of a coherent statement. Not bad but needs more of the writers individuality.
Re: Curiously here by philthegreek	4-Sep-03/7:53 AM
Its ok up to half way, then it loses its meter at 'old and grey' and nothing really happens
Re: The One and Only by J.B. Manning	4-Sep-03/7:50 AM
the last line is a bit infantile, and destroys the flow. Other than that it has a rather good lyrical flow, a bit like a rap song. And a rap song about the one and only me is hardly original. But overall quite enjoyable
Re: The Last Day Of Christ by Mr Pig	4-Sep-03/7:45 AM
an adept use of religious language. 'yeast baptized in wine' is a good idea, I think it says people feasting with bread and wine. There is no need for baptized though, the (red) wine of communion is sufficient to make the christ reference. Some of the bigger words seem to impede the flow, so it is best to have no redundancy. I like 'a carpenter dying on wood' an interesting irony to point out
Re: Picasso: A Painters Revenge by SupremeDreamer	28-Aug-03/1:53 PM
not sure you deserve the low marks but this kind of thing really gets up peoples noses. has the same nice form of your other poems but.... 'bright colours can never be tuned out of the mind' where have i heard that.... halmark/johnk/a daniel bedingfield song?
Re: The Mellifluous Sound of God: Musical Eden by Don-Quixote	28-Aug-03/1:46 PM
not particularly poetic reads well as prose though lots of surprise images. Loses it a bit with phantasmagoric though
Re: Birds of Paradise by Domus	28-Aug-03/1:42 PM
flows nice, the pointy is clear. Pays service to a little imagery. And your sister unable to vomit. Funny rats can't vomit either although the do feel sick if you inject them with saline. anyway quite good
Re: opening time? by wormsy	28-Aug-03/1:39 PM
like the first two lines, admittedly the first is nicked. Set up well but flounders, why are his eyes full of puss?
Re: Easter Egg Soup by kthay	28-Aug-03/1:37 PM
good that you use only the occasional rhyme (hens and friends) better than leading this story with rhyme. Kind of fun I think, a childrens poem A well related story
Re: Unloving Stranger by sweetiewanie	26-Aug-03/9:10 AM
probably should not include thee in a poem just to rhyme. There is an awful lot to sort through here, and it feels like you could shorten it and strengthen its essence. the surprise at the end is made good by the reference to heir earlier on (I had presumed it was some rich bloke) and then it clicked.
Re: I'm Back! by wEdible Underpantsw	26-Aug-03/4:39 AM
http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=62199
Re: Laundry Day by impert&ent	26-Aug-03/4:38 AM
unconventional way to use analogy in the first line. Sets a frivolous tone. you repeat sheets in the final verse which is unneeded. The jump to second verse is less than seemless. other than that ace -8-
Re: I'm Back! by wEdible Underpantsw	26-Aug-03/4:34 AM
great, another I'm back/ I'm not like you / even though I write poems/ proud to be a redneckl/ I'm not gay/ look I hate gays/ your gay/ aren't I very post modern/ and ironic/ bla bla bla
Re: My Show at the Whiskey a Go Go on the 26th of August 2003 by Jeremi B. Handrinos	26-Aug-03/4:29 AM
an advert disguised as a poem. Bit like swedens eurovision entry which claimed to be a song, when it was an instrumental with some guy talking at the beginning. anyway this 'poem' is sweet as pie and dark. I like it. When you are famous will your name be j handrinos?
Re: no name by ~ska~	26-Aug-03/4:16 AM
too prosaic really, nothing new. I quite like the rhyme of the first three lines, flows well.
Re: Piano Guitar Passion by Don-Quixote	25-Aug-03/3:37 AM
ember twice is a mistake. And does the moon really glow like an ember? Seems to be a lot going on here, searching the grass/ the revenge/ the piano. Lots of nice phrases, not sure how it all fits together though