Comments byricha, 741–760 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

on Moving by kingit 2 Dec 2003, 6:06 AM
Not bad this, the best I have seen of yours. To fit all of your poems into this one eccentric style is a mistake, form should not be arbitrary.

For once the form works here I think, the slowness, and also the short length so it doesn't hurt the eyes too much.
on Leap! by Jill Stockinger 1 Dec 2003, 2:11 PM
Reads well, each line a small packaged thought.

I must continue leaping is a fairly weak end though.

Not sure if I would call it concrete either
on For Brianna by MaliqaTara 1 Dec 2003, 12:00 PM
It is oddly strange. The realisation (only about half way through for me) that the other person looking after your baby was god (whichever). Gave this a kind of playful theme out of context.

Good though
replying on "I post here cause I have a lot of readers" by Bachus 28 Nov 2003, 12:17 PM
careful, you might be making yourself look a little silly.
First ones the best, and a nature theme, I mean what could be more natural?
on Mr Zero? Your a coward. by DreamerSupreme 27 Nov 2003, 8:42 AM
same here (strangely at 3.30 every day)
on Don't fuck with Mr. Haiku by SupremeDreamer 27 Nov 2003, 8:36 AM
More a senryu (a haiku has a nature theme). Giving this a nature theme would be impressive.

Good though, the soft feel of the words and then bang.
on Islands Of Our King by Caducus 24 Nov 2003, 1:55 PM
Like the bit about the islands, kind of makes me think about politicians in northern ireland. Funerals for political murders,usual suspects, turning up, blaming eachother, not breaking the cycle.

Possibly needs to be a bit more clear how islands move together works as a metaphor, or is it figurative for the leaders?
Amusing wordplay, especially checked under his kilt for a pulse.
on The fight by INTRANSIT 23 Nov 2003, 9:50 AM
like the rhyme savoir faire and chairs.

and how the end stops dead
on sumerian translation by vermeer33 23 Nov 2003, 9:48 AM
Like the unusual phrasing of lines 3,4.
replying on Lesson in Wickedness by eyrbare 21 Nov 2003, 3:00 PM
The question was for eyrbare, but I would have thought getting up to z on this delightful puzzle would be extremely difficult!
on Lesson in Wickedness by eyrbare 21 Nov 2003, 8:32 AM
like it, can you get up to Z???
replying on Driftwood by malakin 21 Nov 2003, 12:14 AM
I read a poem the other day, about some guys sailing in a boat. Apparently one in a fit of excitement cut off his bum!

As a result the boat became marooned and the sailors died a slow death of starvation. That is all except for the one that chopped off his bum. He was made to spend eternity repeating his tired old comments and single joke.

Any ideas DA?
on Truth by eyrbare 17 Nov 2003, 3:46 PM
The leaf is not violet to start with. Not being violet it is hidden (but how does heat hide). Comes to colour in autumn. We see it.

This I think is the only way it makes sense but it is not the obvious interpretation.

Also it is a million miles from my own understanding of truth.

Other than that............

not bad.
on Anonymous Voters Of Zeros by scitz 17 Nov 2003, 12:13 PM
'Your left and right hand are your wives,' no more explanation needed.
on Oh No! by foothangingoutofass 16 Nov 2003, 4:47 AM
Sylvia Plaths 'daddy' translated into chinese and now back.
"He has a learning disability called. Nepotism.' is brilliant!!!!!
on Ranker Nazis by DreamerSupreme 16 Nov 2003, 4:44 AM
Spot on, and has always been the way
on Zinnias are a funny flower by Bachus 16 Nov 2003, 4:43 AM
like it was written in my soul