| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
For Brianna (Free verse) by MaliqaTara Baby girl
Sometimes it feels like forever
Since I've seen your smiling face
and some days it hurts so bad
That it could've been yesterday
that you left us all...
Angel,
I remember red-gold hair
in an untidy ponytail rippling down your back.
I'd scramble to fix it
You were always so disheveled
but so cute nonetheless
I remember
Baby doll,
Weekend mornings
wakening to find you
Scuttling into my covers
too tired to care
I held you 'til you demanded
Not asked;
always commanded
You little brat,
That I get up and help you
pick out your clothes
I remember
little child,
Of brushing those silk rouge curls
thinking all the while
That you were my child
my little bee
The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil;
Yea, it is even he that shall keep thy soul.
Psalm 121
And I hope that you're with Him
I hope that he loves you as much
As I should've
As much as I could've
As much as I would've
baby girl, if I had only known...
You were sick so much
but never did you give up
Never did you cease to fight
They drugged you so bad
Little girl,
sometimes I didn't even know if it was you!
Honey,
I'm writing this and crying
sobbing for your memory
which everyone should have
Everyone should know.
Just a baby
Only six
And some cruel fate could take you from us?
But don't you worry
You live on.
I pray
Everyday that I see your pictures
On my wall
On my shelves
In the box that I keep of your things...
You just turned eight
Did you have a good birthday?
Did you get those wings that you worked
so hard for?
White with sparkles,
I know that's what you'd want.
And all that plays in my mind
is Jenna hitting the floor
and my daddy
Uncle Danny
Danny McCoffee
running to her
Then me
And mom holding you...
your poor little
Broken body
wrapped in a blanket
blue
white
pink
yellow
Somehow that matters
You were just my baby
such a little girl.
And when someone says Angel
You're the first person I see
standing there
defiant little grin...
And I know that you're happy,
you chose your own fate
and would never have left
If you knew that you weren't
going to be better off
with Him to hold you
And Im trying bebe,
you know that I am
But sometimes the memory
Of all that you were
and all that you could have been
Make me long for the days
Of Barney and Rugrats
and glitter and nailpolish
and rocking you to sleep in my arms.
Up the ladder:
Exiting Shadows
Down the ladder:
Killbirds
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Posted: January 30, 2003 5:25 PM PST; Last modified: November 30, 2003 6:24 PM PSTWeighted score: 6.0 Overall Rank: 1259 Comments:
[9]
Shardik @ 24.126.113.154
|
30-Jan-03/5:48 PM
|
Reply
Fix the question mark situation, and don't start your sentences off with but, and or of. Unless you are damn good.
Quite emmotional, I appreciate all that you conveyed in it..
i like it, and you say i confuse you :) 10
The sincerity of the emotion comes through really well. As a poem, it has some technical flaws, but not to any huge degree. I'm not even going to say anything blasphemous because of the religious content. Needs a little polishing, but has some shine already.
It's hard to lose a love one
Touching, yet oddly funny and strange. Almost fictionish.
It is oddly strange. The realisation (only about half way through for me) that the other person looking after your baby was god (whichever). Gave this a kind of playful theme out of context.
Good though
I thought it was more strangely odd than oddly strange. I was particularly intrigued by the line "Did you get those wings that you worked so hard for?". It made me think: what is the point in angel wings? Do they use them to fly? Does that mean that in the spiritual realm, the normal laws of aerodynamics apply? If I chopped off an angel's wings, would he be unable to fly? And why do they use flight as their primary means of transportation as opposed to any other means (such as walking quickly, or teleportation)? God doesn't have wings. Does that mean He can't fly? Could God fly down to Earth and swoop around a bit then fly back up to heaven again? Good Christ I hope so.
In fact, I think that "Can God fly?" is one of the most important theological questions of the 21st Century. Thanks.
I'm sorry for your loss. This was a really touching poem.
212 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
