Re: a comment on Call Vegas!!! by INTRANSIT	15-Nov-03/6:15 AM
I don't, I think its all been rockmage. I am a little embarrased really. Nentwined makes up the top now!
Re: Reflection by Judas kiss	14-Nov-03/11:29 AM
don't think you need doppelganger and reflection. 'Love yourself' at the best is a cliche, at worse a distraction. v1 fourth line doesn't make much sense. 'On a straight mirror you stretch the glass' is an interesting line I quite like.
Re: The Gala Apple by peaceseeker	14-Nov-03/11:22 AM
nice descriptions, think it needs a main character if you are going to go into his psyche though with lines such as 'left to cling to his indignant assertion'. Like the line breaks too
Re: The Ode of Human Life by ShaNoN+960317485	14-Nov-03/7:39 AM
I like the way you get this poem to flow out of such long lines. The only pick is that it is a little too eclectic in the images it throws in rather than building up a central metaphor.
Re: a comment on Mingy by willosh salkeldosh	13-Nov-03/5:46 AM
You tricked me into going there, it was not even on my own bloody computer.
Re: ANGel R U by EaH4life	13-Nov-03/5:40 AM
provocative eyes? you want to punch her?
Re: a comment on Call Vegas!!! by INTRANSIT	12-Nov-03/3:06 PM
I don't think people are complaining though. It was just the odds that threw me.
Re: Call Vegas!!! by INTRANSIT	12-Nov-03/2:08 PM
At first this made sense, then the bit about 3 women to one man confused me, then I thought the chance of a man holding a position of superiority is 1 in 4 (out of four people one will be a man). One person holding the given position equates to victory for men everywhere. Not sure I believe the figures by the way, women outnumber men the most in wartorn countries where the men go out to fight, on the whole. Anyway an interesting little puzzle at any rate.
Re: My Queen by heartlessempath	11-Nov-03/11:09 AM
'That every move, gesture, connotation and Inflection is calculated, ingenuine' Interesting, seemed to stick out. So much of what we do is following patterns instinctually. Saying hello etc.
Re: Miss You, Love by heartlessempath	11-Nov-03/11:06 AM
Opium is not sweet it is a narcotic, it is dreamy yes.
Re: How It Is by heartlessempath	11-Nov-03/11:04 AM
You seem to have what you want to say worked out. How about the use of poetic means to convince the reader.
Re: a comment on submission to decay by FreeFormFixation	11-Nov-03/8:50 AM
I see, the smoke from cracks being volcanic eruptions, cosmic defect etc. In that case I think the poem would benefit from drawing the two together rather than mentioning human defects, universe defects apart.
Re: a comment on paint me a poem with pictures by nentwined	11-Nov-03/8:06 AM
I think the syllable sounds of a word are more important than syllables per line. That is why the flow of different haikus can be so variable. The only problem I see here is forestall (the same as stall?) it seems to stop my reading dead.
Re: submission to decay by FreeFormFixation	11-Nov-03/7:57 AM
No need for the double line breaks. I like some of the description, perhaps the analysis needs to be a bit deeper than 'the world is going to end, it is all our fault'.
Re: As I sit alone by baby_d	11-Nov-03/7:50 AM
Try something to connect the reader, not a cliche, cliches have long since lost their evocative power. Many people have written poems like this, give or take a few words here and there. Why should we like yours?
Re: A heart without keys by sliver	9-Nov-03/1:14 PM
Last line sounds a bit porn filmish.
Re: Love (pyramus and thisbe) by New Life Drug	9-Nov-03/11:22 AM
Reads well, but the theme is a little ubiquitous.
Re: Why...? by muffielouise	9-Nov-03/11:14 AM
Through not threw and snapped not snaped. Could be sheared of redundancies like 'I have to wait'. Other than that a good effort
Re: a comment on Leg humping is back on the menu by Jeremi B. Handrinos	9-Nov-03/8:37 AM
Severe distaste for vs racism. I guess it is loving the sinner vs hating the sin. Someones jewishness exists outside the common humanity we all hold. It is the jewishness which horus rails against I think.
Re: a comment on Shattered by Katzclear	2-Nov-03/5:38 AM
I love the way you disguise pretentiousness with adolescent-style ruudness.