poemranker ::As I sit alone by baby_d

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Free verse № 74385

As I sit alone

Member since 2003 · Posted 9 Nov 2003 · Edited 10 Nov 2003 · 5 comments

As I sit alone in [recollection] of a life, I feel the pain she must have felt. A voice that did'nt exist. As I sit alone, I sit with her;- Everything said has been forgotten, But I still heard. No one knew, No one cared. As I sit alone, I sit with her- now I watch the sunset, I see her beautiful face, I see something I can never have again. I can see and feel her pain. I can feel myself in pain. As I sit with her- how could GOD have let this happen? She is now gone for ever, slipped away, from my grasp. I can no longer live like this. A part of me is missing, never to return. As I sit alone I sit with her.

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mean 7.17 weighted 5.58 rank 2368 views 210 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

5 comments

[6] sliver 9-Nov-03/4:44 PM Reply
Spellcheck your stuff once in awhile, that way you at least seem to know what you're doing. What is this about? Your Grandma, a miscarraige,?
[5] ShaNoN+960317485 10-Nov-03/6:13 AM Reply
Your bickering has given me a heavy headache, tsk tsk seems 2 much sparetime at ya hands:o)
[4] NoSage 10-Nov-03/3:46 PM Reply
Apostrophe misplaced. I think I see what you were trying to do here. Try again.
[6] richa 11-Nov-03/7:50 AM Reply
Try something to connect the reader, not a cliche, cliches have long since lost their evocative power.

Many people have written poems like this, give or take a few words here and there. Why should we like yours?
[8] Lindz14 17-Aug-05/1:33 PM Reply
Good Job -8-
Lindz14