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As I sit alone (Free verse) by baby_d
As I sit alone in [recollection] of a life, I feel the pain she must have felt. A voice that did'nt exist. As I sit alone, I sit with her;- Everything said has been forgotten, But I still heard. No one knew, No one cared. As I sit alone, I sit with her- now I watch the sunset, I see her beautiful face, I see something I can never have again. I can see and feel her pain. I can feel myself in pain. As I sit with her- how could GOD have let this happen? She is now gone for ever, slipped away, from my grasp. I can no longer live like this. A part of me is missing, never to return. As I sit alone I sit with her.

Up the ladder: Geraldine Florentine, MD
Down the ladder: We Are Born

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.1666665
Weighted score: 5.5827065
Overall Rank: 2366
Posted: November 9, 2003 12:21 PM PST; Last modified: November 10, 2003 2:41 PM PST
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Comments:
[6] sliver @ 65.178.241.98 | 9-Nov-03/4:44 PM | Reply
Spellcheck your stuff once in awhile, that way you at least seem to know what you're doing. What is this about? Your Grandma, a miscarraige,?
[5] ShaNoN+960317485 @ 199.40.206.3 | 10-Nov-03/6:13 AM | Reply
Your bickering has given me a heavy headache, tsk tsk seems 2 much sparetime at ya hands:o)
[4] NoSage @ 63.190.81.230 | 10-Nov-03/3:46 PM | Reply
Apostrophe misplaced. I think I see what you were trying to do here. Try again.
[6] richa @ 81.178.163.4 | 11-Nov-03/7:50 AM | Reply
Try something to connect the reader, not a cliche, cliches have long since lost their evocative power.

Many people have written poems like this, give or take a few words here and there. Why should we like yours?
[8] Lindz14 @ 65.93.139.23 | 17-Aug-05/1:33 PM | Reply
Good Job -8-
Lindz14
210 view(s)




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