Re: Hot Potato by Shardik	19-Jun-03/10:11 AM
yes, best way they'll all kill eachother in the end
Re: Full another terrific love ballad by John K.Y. by Bachus	19-Jun-03/10:14 AM
i don't like being savage about people so i will simply register my agreeance with bachus
Re: Fusion by Kitch	22-Jun-03/6:36 AM
first two lines of second verse are good a few cliches in the first verse though
Re: sink by daniella	22-Jun-03/6:39 AM
yes nice little rhyme and insight
Re: where once by daniella	22-Jun-03/6:43 AM
quite interesting, similar style to 'the force that through the green fuse drives the flower' by dylan thomas. causing a certain feeling of rush of change of uncertainty
Re: Tomorrow by Quarton	24-Jun-03/1:23 PM
dont use .... you are supposed to use language to achieve such an effect i think the scope of this is too great for such a short poem too
Re: Maman: Psychic Tophet by SupremeDreamer	24-Jun-03/1:28 PM
yes this needs much shortening, the twists for me are the creative uses of language in between the babble but there is lots of good stuff
Re: The Dry Wash by Kitch	24-Jun-03/1:32 PM
quite good im not sure the two verses necessarily hang like a landscape painting really, which is difficult to express in poems ask bob dylan
Re: Pilgrimage by Christof	24-Jun-03/1:34 PM
excellent flow nothing that really grabs me though, it was over so fast
Re: The Park Bench by Mr Pig	25-Jun-03/11:42 AM
the aquarius and not interested rhyme rushes the poem along well i think you use very quiete rhymes which gives this a gentle quality not as much vivid imagery as in your other memory poems though
Re: The Shoulder War by Kitch	28-Jun-03/11:27 AM
first verse you mention 'you dried them' I know you mean tears but having to think about it ruins the rhythm. the rest of the first verse is quite sweet I wouldn't bother with the jelly and belly rhyme in the third
Re: Blind Walk Into Poem Ranker by DreamerSupreme	28-Jun-03/11:33 AM
the 'first I met' and 'subsequent' every verse makes this look a bit like a list rather than something more cohesive. gnome and dome seems a little contrived yoda and pepsi cola is funny and modern and nice touch to end every verse with a none rhyme having rhymed through the verse. It kind of asks a question of what is coming next.
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Jul-03/10:51 AM
see philosophy of science is easy
Re: Watching My Childhood Vanish by Caducus	1-Jul-03/10:55 AM
sentiment done many times before about the childhood den etc imagery good and placed in a very definite place
Re: Standing by the Sea by thepinkbunnyofdoom	1-Jul-03/10:59 AM
definitely an 'other' interesting, like an individuals log from the point of the observer, extra points for that. I think you could miss out the end bit explaining it, it is not really needed
Re: Poetic Soup [revised] by SupremeDreamer	1-Jul-03/11:03 AM
the computer feel is a bit corner. other than that it sets itself an ambition and answers it, well reasoned. cooking for food is an interesting link, Plath used to do lots of baking before writing.
Re: STIGMA / MUSEHEART by JoyLuck	1-Jul-03/11:08 AM
stigma an interesting word to use. i think of stigmata which draws a link with the first verse somehow in its explicitness.
Re: walking by Dangzter	3-Jul-03/6:26 AM
senseless addiction of america is a bit politicised and lacks subtelty. other than that this has a good musical rhythm, i like it
Re: My last ever poemranker transmission by King Abdullah II	3-Jul-03/6:30 AM
I knew horus8 and jeremy b were the same but bachus? bachus was a shit to me the other day none of the others were glad you didn't mention me i'm kind of sensitive yours richard ps i have these thoughts sometimes too
Re: My last ever poemranker transmission by King Abdullah II	3-Jul-03/6:50 AM
let us for a moment pretend we were poets