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Tomorrow (Free verse) by Quarton
All is transformed through loving you... winter's sun is warm, her breeze is soft against my face; fresh-washed leaves and autumn colors, excuse the rain. The fog is a veil to hide our kisses and city noises drown our sighs; hatred is an excuse for loving, sorrow a reason for laughter, sadness a cause for smiling, today, while you love me. In a crowd, I have your laughter and your beauty; alone, I know the depths of your love. How will I live with my memories, tomorrow--when you leave me?

Up the ladder: Carpet threading the sky
Down the ladder: Is Not Chicago

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 20
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.. 10
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.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.1666665
Weighted score: 5.313765
Overall Rank: 3533
Posted: June 24, 2003 12:30 PM PDT; Last modified: June 24, 2003 12:30 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 24-Jun-03/12:47 PM | Reply
If you pulled off that quetion mark at the very end, you'll double your audience, your votes and your message, and I will give you three tens in six minutes.
[n/a] richa @ 195.92.168.175 | 24-Jun-03/1:23 PM | Reply
dont use .... you are supposed to use language to achieve such an effect

i think the scope of this is too great for such a short poem too
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > richa | 24-Jun-03/1:46 PM | Reply
Good point, that and the last Question mark has to be a period. I feel very strongly about this damnit.
[6] Mr Pig @ 195.92.168.169 | 26-Jun-03/1:58 PM | Reply
The opening line sounds like a voice over for a chick flick so lose that, Stanz 2 is the most interesting and I wanted more from it and it left me a bit frustrated for I see you have the potential for possibly a grandoise work.

Sorry I wanted to 8 or 9 this but it needs more to it. ^6
[6] Mr Pig @ 195.92.168.169 | 26-Jun-03/1:59 PM | Reply
Nice to see you back Quarton, hope your well.
[n/a] Quarton @ 12.217.220.87 > Mr Pig | 30-Jun-03/7:53 PM | Reply
Thank you, Mr. Pig. I have written nothing new for
a long time but hope to start writing again. Not
sure why but I have had no desire, apathetic being
my mind-set lately. I appreciate the suggestions by
everyone and will delete the question mark and the
(...)
[10] vulcan @ 80.242.7.39 | 30-Aug-03/11:21 AM | Reply
Calmly beautiful.10
[6] Sasha @ 69.138.236.63 | 13-May-04/7:57 PM | Reply
The fog is a veil to hide our kisses....etc.

Gag me
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