DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Tomorrow

Member since 2002 · Posted 24 Jun 2003 · 8 comments

All is transformed through loving you... winter's sun is warm, her breeze is soft against my face; fresh-washed leaves and autumn colors, excuse the rain. The fog is a veil to hide our kisses and city noises drown our sighs; hatred is an excuse for loving, sorrow a reason for laughter, sadness a cause for smiling, today, while you love me. In a crowd, I have your laughter and your beauty; alone, I know the depths of your love. How will I live with my memories, tomorrow--when you leave me?

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mean 6.17 weighted 5.31 rank 3531 views 219 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

8 comments

[n/a] horus8 24-Jun-03/12:47 PM Reply

If you pulled off that quetion mark at the very end, you'll double your audience, your votes and your message, and I will give you three tens in six minutes.

[n/a] richa 24-Jun-03/1:23 PM Reply

dont use .... you are supposed to use language to achieve such an effect

i think the scope of this is too great for such a short poem too

[n/a] horus8 › richa 24-Jun-03/1:46 PM Reply

Good point, that and the last Question mark has to be a period. I feel very strongly about this damnit.

[6] Mr Pig 26-Jun-03/1:58 PM Reply

The opening line sounds like a voice over for a chick flick so lose that, Stanz 2 is the most interesting and I wanted more from it and it left me a bit frustrated for I see you have the potential for possibly a grandoise work.

Sorry I wanted to 8 or 9 this but it needs more to it. ^6

[6] Mr Pig 26-Jun-03/1:59 PM Reply

Nice to see you back Quarton, hope your well.

[n/a] Quarton › Mr Pig 30-Jun-03/7:53 PM Reply

Thank you, Mr. Pig. I have written nothing new for
a long time but hope to start writing again. Not
sure why but I have had no desire, apathetic being
my mind-set lately. I appreciate the suggestions by
everyone and will delete the question mark and the
(...)

[10] vulcan 30-Aug-03/11:21 AM Reply

Calmly beautiful.10

[6] Sasha 13-May-04/7:57 PM Reply

The fog is a veil to hide our kisses....etc.

Gag me