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Carpet threading the sky (Free verse) by INTRANSIT Rigormortised feet
makes one inhale
the stench of sterility
and the progressive regression
of technology.
A house made of ticky-tacky.
Dip the lower eschelons
and sip the friendly motion
then load for bear
the Praetorian compassion.
Now leave.
Up the ladder:
I hope not
Down the ladder:
Tomorrow
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.1666665
Posted: June 5, 2003 7:16 AM PDT; Last modified: June 5, 2003 7:16 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.313765 Overall Rank: 3532 Comments:
Ha!
First half excellent. Second half confusing. Then again, I'm the idiot that wrote "soothing blisters of synthesis
walk on alkaline locks", so I have no right to say such things! I must be punished. The title is a ten. I give the body seven. That averages out to 8.5! Rock on. 277 view(s)
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and yes eschelons fits like a milliners hat. Well done its a daisy.