poemranker ::Standing by the Sea by thepinkbunnyofdoom

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Other № 54373

Standing by the Sea

by thepinkbunnyofdoom

Member since 2003 · Posted 30 Jun 2003 · Edited 1 Jul 2003 · 27 comments

A man sits like as though he were stone Waiting for a sign to move forward from this cliff Once a week he abandons his cliffside by the sea to rest and eat He has done so for almost a year now Told by his elders to that he must wait to find a sign He has seen many things but apon thought none were for him Many ships have past by as well as beast He has had heat visions of the Budda and Dragons from the far east Yet these things have not moved his heart and so he has only moved to survive He has waited silently lost in thought seeking Many are the dreams and many are the hours of solitude When one day a young woman from a near by village came and sat next to him Still he waited though he was puzzled by her presense She'd come at sun rise and she left at sunset never saying a word After many weeks one morning he came to sit where he has sat for over a year now Much to his amazement she sat in his place staring at the sea Finally he had to ask with hoarse voice that hadn't been used in ages "What are you doing here, I have sat here for many moons waiting for my sign" Apon several moments she very shortly replied "I am changing the very fabric of the world in which you cling" More confused and than ever he stared at her, pondering her words He spent the entire day and much of the moon's light thinking As the moon began its downward wane he asked "why" "All the thought in the world will not move a statue wasting away by the sea Nothing has moved you from this spot After all these years I have grown tired of waiting You seek something that can move you when you are the one that moves Now you are moved and don't know what to do Should you move on and find a new place in this world Or perphaps shall you take a wait for things me to move to right things again Only to live your life in a circle, that can not end That path will bring you and myself only pain and miseary" So the young man did the only thing he could think of and kissed her When his lips met hers she grabbed him and ran off the cliff They were battered by the tide and carried out to sea and came up on a shore Together they began a new life and lived happily ever after somewhere near Fugii

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mean 7.00 weighted 6.76 rank 442 views 348 View voting details →

16 votes so far. Yours would make 17.16 votes so far

27 comments

[n/a] SupremeDreamer 30-Jun-03/12:57 PM Reply
hrmm. interesting and perhaps funny.. but it lackes a certain spontaneous quality, because your title already layed out the end, or gave enough info for me to guess it. The final moral that you give for a conclusion, is a simple spurt of common sense. Then you attempted to make the last line catchy and funny.. but it ended up being boringly unamusing.

I like the story you did spin out though, except for the insane "form" we have here.. your lines are running all over the place.. what purpose does that exactly serve? to make reading the work annoying enough as to drive people to become lazy and not read it?
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › SupremeDreamer 30-Jun-03/2:04 PM Reply
I wrote it in word, which gave me a wider layout. It should look something like this
Sing
Sing of
Sing of Nothing
Dance
Dance To
Dance to the Sound
*example ends*
True I'll rename it. The humor was in the simple spurt of common sense at the end. Its done in a format I call Steps but I'm sure it has a better name. I tired to leave out most emotion yet still be appealing, but with the difference in word processors, Its lost its steps and without them is much more confusing.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer › thepinkbunnyofdoom 30-Jun-03/2:34 PM Reply
Retreat into old school and re discover notepad. its damn good. ;P
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › SupremeDreamer 30-Jun-03/2:41 PM Reply
Note pad is nice but it lacks so many of the finer features of word such as spell check and the ablity to save in other fonts.
[9] JoyLuck 30-Jun-03/2:52 PM Reply
interesting
ha
[1] wCUNTw 1-Jul-03/4:05 AM Reply
Go suck a monkey's ass, you fucker
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › wCUNTw 1-Jul-03/6:15 AM Reply
Hehe.. Is that the best you've got. Come on Insult me. Say something that is gonna make me upset. Rise to the challenge of being more than a simple ignorant layman. Cause if you can't do better than saying I should go suck your ass(which would probably leave me with some strange disease that they don't even have a name for yet) then your just a waste of time.
[n/a] wFraser Allonby Q.C.w › thepinkbunnyofdoom 1-Jul-03/6:59 AM Reply
Go suck a donkey's ass, you fucker
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 1-Jul-03/7:07 AM Reply
Whats next an Elephant? Look just not gonna happen okay. I might be able to jump up his ass(if the smell wouldn't kill me first) but we bunnies just aren't made for that sort of thing. Besides, Didn't your mommy ever tell you not to play with your food?
[n/a] deleted user › thepinkbunnyofdoom 1-Jul-03/7:18 AM Reply
It's 'bout time you took your sorry white ass out the projects, 'cause ain't no place 'round here for stinkin' ass bitch like yourself. My momma don't even come into this, so don't be talkin' no shit about shit you don't know shit about an' shit.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › deleted user 1-Jul-03/7:55 AM Reply
Shame really, your absolutly right. She cums on everything.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › thepinkbunnyofdoom 1-Jul-03/1:54 PM Reply
What might possibly be the moral to this story you ask? If you wait to
long life may pass you by. If you give up too soon you might miss it.
More than likely what your looking for has been right beside you for
awhile now and you have mearly been missing it. But most Importantly If
your stupid enough to wait on a cliff side for a few years only someone
as FUCKING NUTZ as you are is gonna come move your dumb ass.
[5] maffy 1-Jul-03/8:42 AM Reply
This made me want to stand at the bottom of the sea. Way long, nuff said 5
[7] GAY AS FU*K 1-Jul-03/10:08 AM Reply
I like long things, and this is REALLY long, have a 7 handsome.
[7] richa 1-Jul-03/10:59 AM Reply
definitely an 'other'

interesting, like an individuals log from the point of the observer, extra points for that.

I think you could miss out the end bit explaining it, it is not really needed
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › richa 1-Jul-03/11:04 AM Reply
Maybe, but I wanted make so that if your head was aching from trying to follow the story, then the point would be ovbious rather than taking a few days to let the meaning sink in.
[6] horus8 1-Jul-03/1:20 PM Reply
Why would you put that last paragraph in? Are you so insecure you need to explain yourself explaining yoursef? Good God, it was fine up until that stab at humor.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › horus8 1-Jul-03/1:54 PM Reply
Oh all right but just for you Horus. Say bye bye to the nice little explaination. Bye Bye.
[9] Bachus › thepinkbunnyofdoom 1-Jul-03/3:24 PM Reply
Thankyou. now here's your treat.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer › thepinkbunnyofdoom 1-Jul-03/6:20 PM Reply
woohoo. the explaination was a failure, dont miss it. the result, is actaully a thousand times better than the original.. now it has a shine and glitter. Now, you just need to fix the presentation of this thing and fix the running lines that run allover the page.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › SupremeDreamer 1-Jul-03/7:16 PM Reply
Fine Fine.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer › thepinkbunnyofdoom 1-Jul-03/8:45 PM Reply
good good, ;D heres your blessing: 10 :)
[8] Freethinker1602 1-Jul-03/10:51 PM Reply
love the end
[0] Stephen Robins 31-Mar-05/3:16 AM Reply
You nonce.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › Stephen Robins 31-Mar-05/2:24 PM Reply
You noticed. What do you want a cookie?
[n/a] edpeterson 31-Mar-05/7:03 AM Reply
"A man sits like as though he were stone"

My head turned to stone when I read this.
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › edpeterson 31-Mar-05/2:27 PM Reply
There was alot of stones involved in this. Mostly being stoned. Imagine my suprise to ever see it in the best list. Its close to being one of my worst.