Re: The Artists Creation by Kitch	3-Jul-03/6:53 AM
nothing he feels/ addict to a needle? what about withdrawal like the hyena analogy
Re: Orbiting Venus by scitz	3-Jul-03/6:54 AM
nice poem not entirely unpornographic though
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Jul-03/6:59 AM
fast running perhaps needs a little shortening get rid of the prose/ predictable stuff
Re: Its Blue by aurora	3-Jul-03/9:33 AM
a tad meaningless nice poetic style though
Re: Mirror to Mirror by Roisin	3-Jul-03/9:45 AM
reads well the title mirror mirror is a bit overused good ending structure, perhaps the words a bit cliched other than that good, I like your use of modern language
Re: Misgivings by Topaz Servias	4-Jul-03/8:19 AM
this needs a bit more of you in it, the lack of originality detracts from the feeling you want to get across. what I do like about this is the rhythm and sonority, even though you don't appear to be explicitly rhyming your words.
Re: Fall Of The Heartlands by Mr Pig	4-Jul-03/8:24 AM
fine selection of language, the traditional with the new the final line is good about the sword through the ventricles of a heartland. Streams as veins. I think the pneumatic part is mixing metaphors though. this is definitely one of your best
Re: Lycanthropes and L-dopamine by horus8	4-Jul-03/8:27 AM
irreverent, funny role reversal do you mean L-DOPA in the title? the drug given to people with parkinsons that made them all schizophrenic
Re: Untitled #13 by david	4-Jul-03/1:36 PM
reads well. heavily influenced by biblical imagery I think painful in nature/ubiquitous in effect is a nice play on words nice simple words to build a picture, not too tied to loaded terms
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Jul-03/3:22 AM
haiku like in brevity, nice
Re: SHAME AND THE OLD MANS CANDLE by Garrett S Sexton	5-Jul-03/3:24 AM
the tone of the poem seemed so benign as well. I didn't get it until the end clever
Re: Poetic Soup [revised] by SupremeDreamer	5-Jul-03/3:34 AM
Insightful and communicative
Re: Hi, my name is "Look at me, Stop it!" I'm Bi-polar by horus8	5-Jul-03/1:51 PM
bipolar disorder tends to work in cycles. If someone changes moods so quickly as that I suggest it is the cocaine not the bipolar. Nice though. Westerners are so precious with their illnesses
Re: Independence Day (the speech from the film) by scitz	5-Jul-03/1:58 PM
'we must learn to love one another AND die' and 'i will not go down under the ground/cos somebody tells me that deaths comin round' just a couple of quotes with reference to this transcription
Re: Caesar and the Giant. (revised) by SupremeDreamer	5-Jul-03/2:02 PM
one of the best 'winge about settle' poems. There should be an award
Re: lucid building peace by nolan	6-Jul-03/4:40 AM
'the dead are unborn' well summed up lots of things to make you think here
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Jul-03/4:43 AM
fit me like a miracle? Last two lines are ok. Evokes thoughts of drowning
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Jul-03/2:47 PM
makes perfect sense to me pretty good, think you might be condemning yourself with your own pen though should watch out for that
Re: blackhole by crwncka1	7-Jul-03/11:01 AM
I know you can't explain the trapped feeling. But please try this poem doesn't seem to speak. It is just a few sentences strung together
Re: Crowning Achievement by MrsGretchen	7-Jul-03/11:04 AM
you shouldn't veer from your rhyme schem as in verse 4 it is off putting. quite vague really and not anchored to anything the first verse sets the intention well and I like the half-rhyme years and scars though