Crowning Achievement

Member since 2003 · Posted 7 Jul 2003 · 3 comments

The crowning achievement to a lifes work was the downfall and murders of those who broke first He screams at the walls Please set me free. I performed a service for purity It is not yours to judge me I answer to my god and for him I toiled years caught evil, gained scars I ache at the memories and the horrors like you Yes I would still perform them I would give my due Please set me loose there is more to be done Do you realize you'll be killing too When midnight is done If I could I would make you all understand that some people deserve to die, I am who I am a man My crowning achievements Have you deceived I am more than a killer I set people free

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mean 4.50 weighted 4.94 rank 9042 views 138 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

3 comments

[n/a] richa 7-Jul-03/11:04 AM Reply

you shouldn't veer from your rhyme schem as in verse 4 it is off putting.

quite vague really and not anchored to anything

the first verse sets the intention well and I like the half-rhyme years and scars though

[7] horus8 7-Jul-03/12:38 PM Reply

Better.

[8] SupremeDreamer 7-Jul-03/7:49 PM Reply

I really like this poem alot. It is written well, but theres lots of room for improvement. blessed with 8.