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Untitled #13 (Free verse) by david and with the tongue
of some reptile,
it all came to a cacophonus halt,
painful in nature, ubiquitous
in effect, while
somewhere in the universe
the spiritual umbilical cord
was cut:
"it's a boy. born a sinner,
no less. here's hoping he
finds cleansing."
and here am i, lying awake
nights,
wondering if i can make
it without tasting the fruit
one
more time.
Up the ladder:
Pine
Down the ladder:
Lord of the Swines
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.714286
Posted: July 4, 2003 1:04 PM PDT; Last modified: July 4, 2003 1:04 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.4610424 Overall Rank: 2863 Comments:
[10]
<{Baba^Yaga}> @ 24.126.113.154
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4-Jul-03/1:16 PM
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Reply
Profound.
reads well.
heavily influenced by biblical imagery I think painful in nature/ubiquitous in effect is a nice play on words nice simple words to build a picture, not too tied to loaded terms
the story of an altarboy who wore white too long. Then one day he got gangrene and his toes rotted off, each little piggy one by one falling and collected in a basket that he keeps in the back of a cupboard. Just don't let the earwigs in. They have a knack for pinching what little memory is left.
Hmm, I see you've been around a while. But I don't think I've read any poems of yours before today. Oh here's a Ten --> 10.
Thought provoking and may I say well done my boy.
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