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Untitled #13

Member since 2002 · Posted 4 Jul 2003 · 4 comments

and with the tongue of some reptile, it all came to a cacophonus halt, painful in nature, ubiquitous in effect, while somewhere in the universe the spiritual umbilical cord was cut: "it's a boy. born a sinner, no less. here's hoping he finds cleansing." and here am i, lying awake nights, wondering if i can make it without tasting the fruit one more time.

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7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

4 comments

[10] <{Baba^Yaga}> 4-Jul-03/1:16 PM Reply

Profound.

[8] richa 4-Jul-03/1:36 PM Reply

reads well.

heavily influenced by biblical imagery I think

painful in nature/ubiquitous in effect is a nice play on words

nice simple words to build a picture, not too tied to loaded terms

[10] Bill Z Bub 4-Jul-03/7:21 PM Reply

the story of an altarboy who wore white too long. Then one day he got gangrene and his toes rotted off, each little piggy one by one falling and collected in a basket that he keeps in the back of a cupboard. Just don't let the earwigs in. They have a knack for pinching what little memory is left.

Hmm, I see you've been around a while. But I don't think I've read any poems of yours before today. Oh here's a Ten --> 10.

[8] Mr Pig 5-Jul-03/8:38 AM Reply

Thought provoking and may I say well done my boy.