Re: Things by MrsGretchen	7-Jul-03/2:24 PM
I like your half rhyme, things and screams. And I like the final two lines too
Re: Priceless Moment by thepinkbunnyofdoom	7-Jul-03/2:26 PM
a comment nice and succinct is the essence of poetry for me. This is not a haiku but never mind
Re: On Leaving an Awful Pub Job by razorgrin	8-Jul-03/2:25 AM
first ones good, i'm sure the other ones been done before though
Re: love sick by rymemaster	8-Jul-03/2:31 AM
living the life of the sick and insane? I'm not sure about that line you told me your feeling/but you aint givin/ no reason for believin (that is to say more insight needed)
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Jul-03/3:29 AM
'And poetry is reduced to a general surgeon's warning' what does that mean? and how does toxicity pacify rain?
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Jul-03/3:54 AM
nice selection of words. It conveys quite a dreamy feel with the imagery. But I think it lacks something to grab the reader
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Jul-03/3:57 AM
the lack of cliche and plain prose makes this valuable in a way. But I think it is a bit dull and the olde language is distracting. I can't really grab a line of reasoning from such a dense piece as well
Re: smile by nolan	10-Jul-03/3:59 AM
not a lot of insight here and the description relies on cliche. However I do feel a certain empathy with these feelings but that is more what I bring to the poem than you I think
Re: in here (i lost a piece of my mind) by nolan	10-Jul-03/4:01 AM
the first verse I will break free to I will be free. Has potential to work but I think you need to use the same repetition in the other verses
Re: "last needle" by nolan	10-Jul-03/4:03 AM
try not to rhyme so loudly when addressing serious issues. by the way I don't believe you to be addicted to anything. This is not focused enough
Re: The Beach by leviathan	10-Jul-03/4:06 AM
a lot of nice idioms in here. And it reads well as a poem. the beach that used to be a throne is a bit naff though and takes away from the maturity of the overall
Re: What I Remember by leviathan	10-Jul-03/4:09 AM
varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help
Re: What I Remember by leviathan	10-Jul-03/4:09 AM
varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help
Re: What I Remember by leviathan	10-Jul-03/4:09 AM
varied selection of words and I like your verse structure. However some of the imagery doesn't really lure me into the poem and I think more basic elements of language would help
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Jul-03/4:13 AM
the paw reference usually applies to dogs and it makes me feel this is about a dog, but there is little further evidence. In fact this poem doesn't offer much for me to get into. still some of the language is of interest
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Jul-03/4:14 AM
not bad, quite a tight effort
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Jul-03/4:17 AM
reads a bit too fast for a poem not about the pace of change. Some useful lines
Re: Omerta el prostitute by <{Baba^Yaga}>	10-Jul-03/4:21 AM
enjoyable to read, ambiguous yes but with certain bits to hang on to like 'boys ride by laughing on bikes'
Re: Cannibalism by Enki	10-Jul-03/4:23 AM
yes I like hot spices with flesh and this haiku
Re: Love by Enki	10-Jul-03/4:25 AM
I like haiku with a change of direction, all in 17 syllables. the rubber glove thing is a perversion right?