"last needle"

I could have been many things I could have done many things but i haven't, and those things are gone so i sit here in anticipation of the future not knowing what to excpect they say that if it is meant to be; it will be so is this what i am meant to be High Scared Alone Addicted Envious Nervious Anxious Weak I know that you don't care these cold eyes are cold for a reason through them i often look and stare i can see nothing clear everything is bare i want to say many things but i cannot show weakness no i am far too strong too strong to care too strong to feel I am too strong to say what is inside and with these feelings i will die every emotion i tried to hide Who am I? I am not real, I do not feel I understand your silence and you desire for something more, something real I will never forget, the feelings you made me feel the fact you will never see this is a true sign of my weakness As I lay here with the last needle I don't want to feel because feeling causes pain