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The Beach (Free verse) by leviathan
Brisk moonlight crisp, perfect waves silent stars piercing blackness And you Something to see when everything else is gone Something to hold as I fade away too Tender moment soft, perfect skin Exquisite love devouring blackness And you Everything I have craved and died to taste Everything special I wasn’t sure I was anymore Upon a throne of sand our embrace awakens something beautiful Stars twinkling envious of the elation born in a perfect wave’s mist Upon the air our whispers linger as if fate wants never to forget Distant trees quietly weep, touched by the love in a little boy’s eyes Confessions of a soul too scarred to speak cause a chill to taint the perfect air cause fate to blush before turning away Secrets inside a mind twisted with torment cause a chill to freeze your perfect blood cause you to whimper before turning you eyes away An angry breeze roars across the waves making me suddenly feel alone The breeze blows you away like all these grains of sand roaming across the beach that used to be our throne

Up the ladder: van Gogh's Irises
Down the ladder: The Grave (thanks to z)

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 10
.. 10
.. 30
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 7.1666665
Weighted score: 5.5827065
Overall Rank: 2341
Posted: July 9, 2003 4:39 AM PDT; Last modified: July 9, 2003 4:39 AM PDT
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Comments:
[10] DreamerSupreme @ 204.31.161.174 | 9-Jul-03/4:52 AM | Reply
Beatifull imagery and expression: 10
[9] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 | 9-Jul-03/11:46 AM | Reply
Wow... I'm too wrapped up in it to say anything. I'll come back later and give a better comment. For now, a 9. (This with my rule about not giving 10's although you tempted me here.)
[8] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 9-Jul-03/12:22 PM | Reply
It's simple and picks up speed at the end, very good.
[8] richa @ 81.86.235.232 | 10-Jul-03/4:06 AM | Reply
a lot of nice idioms in here. And it reads well as a poem.

the beach that used to be a throne is a bit naff though and takes away from the maturity of the overall
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