DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

van Gogh's Irises

Member since 2003 · Posted 9 Mar 2003 · 5 comments

They had them out today in pots (van Gogh's irises) the gray sky buckling over umbrellas and women hurried by in the spat rain, none stopping to the flowers. I stayed and watched and the pots stood in the rain while the yellow lights came on and shone around them. Seeing them there in the dark air like some kind of forgotten flags brought me as low as though it were my own loss.

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6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

5 comments

[10] daniella 11-Mar-03/10:23 PM Reply

i can see these hues.

[8] Jeremi B. Handrinos 12-Mar-03/2:32 AM Reply

THank god jesus slept in my poppies. All fucking night.@

[7] Robert K Foster 14-Mar-03/9:19 AM Reply

2nd line (in parentheses) is redundant with the title.
also, I suggest cutting "Some kind of" to strengthen the image of forgotten flags--and then ask yourself if the last two lines are truly needed for the meaning of the poem...
a valiant effort...you have a good grasp on imagery and "fresh" language.

[n/a] lastobelus › Robert K Foster 14-Mar-03/9:42 AM Reply

Thank you! The parenthetical comment has always bugged me, but I can't bring myself to take it out. The "some kind of" is there purely for slamming, you read it with a silent beat before "some", lean into the mike, and kick the line into the audience's teeth.

[8] fevriere 12-Jan-04/2:09 PM Reply

Painfulyl evocative. Plus it sounds like it's published.