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in here (i lost a piece of my mind) (Free verse) by nolan
one day i will break free (from where?) i won't need a crutch (how strong, or is it how many?) i will have everything i need (which is nothing) i will be free (which is?) one day i am going to smile (like i am now) it might take a while (more like a few minutes) but i will be there (but i am here) make sure to wait for them (are they coming?) one day i will set a fire (to my face) to all of the broken wires (ok i lied) that surround the sun (and melt my hands) and i will pour out the rum (with alcohol i am done) yeah one day i will get there (yeah one day) one day i will stop to stare (probaly just daze off) i know i will (convince myself that to stay strong) i can, i will (yeah keep telling myself that) excuse me, there is a slight chill (in here)

Up the ladder: Salt Water
Down the ladder: One Love

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.25
Weighted score: 4.910598
Overall Rank: 9563
Posted: May 12, 2003 11:37 AM PDT; Last modified: August 6, 2003 12:57 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] richa @ 81.86.235.232 | 10-Jul-03/4:01 AM | Reply
the first verse I will break free to I will be free. Has potential to work but I think you need to use the same repetition in the other verses
[7] Lifeboatman @ 202.78.97.13 | 6-Aug-03/4:04 AM | Reply
'tis ok... 7
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