poemranker ::in here (i lost a piece of my mind) by nolan

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Free verse № 48996

in here (i lost a piece of my mind)

Member since 2003 · Posted 12 May 2003 · Edited 6 Aug 2003 · 2 comments

one day i will break free (from where?) i won't need a crutch (how strong, or is it how many?) i will have everything i need (which is nothing) i will be free (which is?) one day i am going to smile (like i am now) it might take a while (more like a few minutes) but i will be there (but i am here) make sure to wait for them (are they coming?) one day i will set a fire (to my face) to all of the broken wires (ok i lied) that surround the sun (and melt my hands) and i will pour out the rum (with alcohol i am done) yeah one day i will get there (yeah one day) one day i will stop to stare (probaly just daze off) i know i will (convince myself that to stay strong) i can, i will (yeah keep telling myself that) excuse me, there is a slight chill (in here)

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mean 4.25 weighted 4.91 rank 9552 views 119 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

2 comments

[n/a] richa 10-Jul-03/4:01 AM Reply
the first verse I will break free to I will be free. Has potential to work but I think you need to use the same repetition in the other verses
[7] Lifeboatman 6-Aug-03/4:04 AM Reply
'tis ok... 7