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Omerta el prostitute (Free verse) by <{Baba^Yaga}> A cock crows steady for sixty
seconds as a dog barks off in the
distance and a car almost starts.
Dark square of curtains seal out
the morning, but he is still awake
holding the letter with a bottle.
It slowly slips out and shatters.
Walking across the glass he opens
the drapes and stands motionless.
Two boys ride by laughing on bikes.
Their seats are red & their hair brown.
He presses his palm to the warm pane.
Up the ladder:
alienheart
Down the ladder:
The Park Bench
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.5555553
Posted: February 22, 2003 11:00 PM PST; Last modified: July 9, 2003 4:48 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.2777777 Overall Rank: 898 Comments:
[10]
god'swife @ 209.179.212.98
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23-Feb-03/1:35 AM
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Reply
Blood on the tracks. I swear, you're on to something. Find find find.
The change eliminated ambiguity.
This is a three part series based upon the male hustler.
As far as ambiguity goes i believe it's lost none if not gained more. Because it's not aimed at prostitution in general which was my point with the series. Since the male and female world of sex for hire are two extremely different arenas, because the female prostitute deals with the opposite sex. The male prostitute deals 95% of the time with the same sex. There is no such thing as Deuce Bigelow, sorry.
I don't disagree and probably no comment was necessary from me. I was actually commenting on something more simple and removed from the theme of the poem. The glass as opposed to window. It was obvious but your change made it a little better.
By the way, i was wondering, Do you know what your user name means, and who Enki is... because that's a righteous name, Marduk would have been nice too, of course or innana.
No I am just a random san-ni-ga.
So what's cooking in the oven today?
Or did you mean from "glass" earlier to "pane" now? You do know what a pane of glass is correct, because others it's exactly pretty much the same. Unless you thought he was waiting for his prostitute wife to come home? This poem deals with the abuse of substance and the isolation from reality a young man goes through by selling himself. He is looking out the window seeing what he use to be, a little boy playing early in the morning with a friend, but now he's locked up from the light hiding, and ashamed. Does that help you any? The letter symbolizes his dwelling upon his lack of communication and love.
Yes see my above comment. I wasn't reading into it at all.
Yep yep. I wonder if I should consider a career change?
But surely as a hobby . . . ?
It's not like a hobby, because of the ridiculous amounts of money, and the constant corruption involved. At first one would like to think of it along the lines of hobby but quickley it mutates. Like Carpenter's the thing. Then you spend the rest of your time absorbed by hunting it while it hunt's youu
The corruption only starts when the money matters, it mutates only when it matters (or doesn't matter). Is there no way to be zen about it?
What? fuck for free, or approach it like david carridean. lol.
Laughs and takes it to a philosophy forum instead.
So, what was the consensus in the forum?
Well . . . it was decided that people aren't wearing enough hats.
As in condoms or asshats.
enjoyable to read, ambiguous yes but with certain bits to hang on to like 'boys ride by laughing on bikes'
"holding the letter with a bottle" -> "it slowly slips out" sounds like the letter slips out. but it shatters. ?
beyond that, rather nice. :)
Yes, it shatters, meaning, I guys we know it's not a letter.
(the letter that slips, that is)
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