Re: Potential by Christof	29-Jan-06/4:31 AM
Nice! I still think your poem 'Instructions to a Sculptor' should be #1...
Re: Lost Forever by Freethinker1602	29-Jan-06/6:12 AM
Hmm...this is the best of your recent ones, to be sure. I think it would work better if you used 'I' less frequently, and maybe put into prose form. It's a bit disjointed at the moment. Also, I do like the start, not being able to bring yourself to contemplate his death, you should try to emphasise that a bit more. Let me know if you edit this one, I'd like to see how it turns out.
Re: Technology makes memories, photo album, circa 1970 by <~>	29-Jan-06/6:17 AM
'Like a disciplined fruit'...yes, imaginative certainly.
Re: Reckoning by <~>	29-Jan-06/6:23 AM
I'm sure there's something intelligent I can say here, but I can't think what it might be. Nicely written, anyway.
Re: Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	29-Jan-06/1:28 PM
Ah yes, now I like this. If I'm going to nitpick, there are grammatical mistakes, other than that it's great! 'Prophet shoes', love it!
Re: Frozen Branches by jmalone	29-Jan-06/1:32 PM
This works quite well although I'd suggest that if you're going to go for a rhyming scheme, give the poem a definite rhythm - it makes it easier to read aloud. Also, capitalise the start of every line; the beauty of acrostics is being able to instantly see what the vertical column says. Other than that, nicely done - 'truant solar rise' is a lovely line!
Re: Generation Next, Fuck you(The Fake Out) by thepinkbunnyofdoom	29-Jan-06/1:40 PM
This one's tricky to comment on; a lot of people have looked at it according to the hits counter, but I can only assume that they, like I, don't really know what to make of it. It feels like it's a good poem, but it's more than my tiny brain can get round at the moment. If you gave me an explanation, maybe that would help.
Re: The world's shortest poem by ALChemy	29-Jan-06/2:37 PM
Having seen hundreds of variations on this - all of which were veritable piles of cack - imagine my surprise when I opened one that didn't scream out 'I'm crap! Hate me!' 8 for writing the only form of this that won't get the 'Pimple' rating on the ranker.
Re: Moving from home by Caducus	30-Jan-06/4:37 AM
Absolutely beautiful, sad yet sweet.
Re: Time, Indeterminate by ecargo	30-Jan-06/9:19 AM
Strange, I could have sworn that I'd commented on this earlier...ahh, the curse of selective memory returns! I like this, although I got the impression (from the last stanza and a half) that there's a tragedy round the corner...which turned it from a pleasent tribute to enduring feelings to having a much darker feel at the end - are you intending on following this up with a sequel? The only line that lost me was "named Zeppelin, in his name;" - is there something going straight over my head here? Either way, very nicely done.
Re: A Loud Room by MacFrantic	30-Jan-06/9:24 AM
Nothing to say that god'swife hasn't already, a well-written piece!
Re: The correct order of things by Stephen Robins	31-Jan-06/8:02 AM
No no no, below the gentry lies the Mayor.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-06/8:08 AM
Nice, 'follow' (line 10) seems a bit cumbersome, and 'Jell-O' really doesn't suit the mood of the piece, keep it ethereal. I'm also not sure that stanza 5 is necessary, other than that I like it!
Re: Giving in to a boring suggestion by Joe-joe	31-Jan-06/8:12 AM
Very readable...'a martyr with badly timed second thoughts' made me laugh out loud, for that this is worth a 9...very creative indeed!
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-06/8:22 AM
Well LilMsLady, I saw your most recent post and am ambling through some of your others (in no great order). I quite like this one but I think that what people say about it being too obvious in places is pretty fair...you want to write something sexy but not seedy, that much is clear, and in places you get it spot on. Seriously though, take note of what people have said regarding (for instance) stanza 4 - after all, if you want to get have an affect on the reader you won't do it by telling them what should be the right way of achieving that. I'm not sure if I like the inconsistant rhyme scheme (I think I do, to be honest)...yes...I think it works quite well actually. But seriously, come back to this one - it's got something to it, for sure.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-06/8:26 AM
Gorgeous
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-06/8:49 AM
A fresh take on an over-cliched subject matter. Not at all bad.
Re: The Book of Images by Dovina	31-Jan-06/8:55 AM
I had to read this about three times over the course of today in order to get all the imagery here. I love this poem and I love the ending. To me, perfect!
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-06/9:48 AM
Very very very sexy, I don't even want to try critiquing this one...how often do I say that?!?
Re: Valentine? by celticskatermatt1	1-Feb-06/5:30 AM
The penultimate line is far too long given how quick the rest of the poem is, line 6 is a bit cheesy, other than that a very readable ditty.