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Lost Forever (Free verse) by Freethinker1602
I can't stand the thought of knowing he's gone. At least not yet. If he dies today, for him there will never be a tomorrow. He knows no god and knows not the savior. If he dies today there will be know tomorrow for "us". If he dies today he will not ever be again. If he dies today, he is dead forever. I can't tolerate the thought of him being dead forever. I don't know what to say to him. I can tell him that even those who don't believe can feel god work his powers, and only those that believe know what it is when they feel it. I could tell him that even though you cannot see god you can feel him, much like the wind. I can tell him that there is no explanation for what christ does. I can tell him that Christ's Father works in fearful ways, and yet after all of this he just nods politely and thinks poor deluded girl. How do I help him, when will his salvation come? I can do neither and will just live with out him when the day of his passing comes. The word passion means to suffer, and I guess that is what it means to be a lover, for I cannot save him and he will not save himslef. gummibear.

Up the ladder: a week off
Down the ladder: in you

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Weighted score: 4.9602656
Overall Rank: 8573
Posted: April 11, 2004 7:35 PM PDT; Last modified: April 11, 2004 7:35 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 29-Jan-06/6:12 AM | Reply
Hmm...this is the best of your recent ones, to be sure. I think it would work better if you used 'I' less frequently, and maybe put into prose form. It's a bit disjointed at the moment. Also, I do like the start, not being able to bring yourself to contemplate his death, you should try to emphasise that a bit more. Let me know if you edit this one, I'd like to see how it turns out.
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