Ranger29 Jan 2006

Hmm...this is the best of your recent ones, to be sure. I think it would work better if you used 'I' less frequently, and maybe put into prose form. It's a bit disjointed at the moment. Also, I do like the start, not being able to bring yourself to contemplate his death, you should try to emphasise that a bit more. Let me know if you edit this one, I'd like to see how it turns out.