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The correct order of things (Free verse) by Stephen Robins
First in line is our dear Lord God, In the finest brogues he is shod, Beware being smited with his rod, If off in church you dare nod. Below dear Lord lies our Queen, Never has a mind been so clean, She would find nothing obscene, About the juxtaposition of sex and teen. Below the Queen lie the Dukes and Earls, Whom like nothing better than chasing girls, And gifting across their golden curls, A necklace made of unnatural pearls, Below the peers there lies the Squire, Whom to the peerage does aspire, But as he owns not half the shire, He must content himself with the choir. Below the gentry lie the vicars, Who disgrace themselves on other's liquors, Whilst trying to enter the knickers, Of holidaying townie hop-pickers. Below the clergy professionals rule, Chasing money which makes them a fool, Realising not they're their betters tool, All to send their children to public school. I shall not mention all the rest, Save to say they are not blessed, With brogues, land and family crest, Save a stain upon their vest.

Up the ladder: Wanting To Much
Down the ladder: Little Talons

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.2384057
Overall Rank: 4137
Posted: October 28, 2004 6:43 AM PDT; Last modified: January 30, 2006 11:15 AM PST
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Comments:
[8] Tintagiles @ 198.164.251.198 | 28-Oct-04/8:15 PM | Reply
And what, prithee, is an unnatural pearl? The second-last line breaks the rhythm -- fix it up, it suddenly turns plodding. Perhaps 'Thought not, you dem thoughtless wanker' would do.
[10] edpeterson @ 68.79.20.59 | 29-Oct-04/8:22 PM | Reply
a nude, three-legged sack race in a mosquito swarm.
[10] wFraser Allonby Q.C.w @ 195.157.153.253 | 1-Nov-04/4:42 AM | Reply
Below the plebs lie the I.F.A.s -
Those shabby cads who spend their days
Spouting garbled financial cliches:
They spend their evenings bumming gays.
If one's parents teach at a Poly
And one has to earn one's dough,
One's no better than a filthy golly,
That's right a full lipped negro.

As for my position in the order of things,
That is beyond reproach from you,
For I belong with Queens and Kings,
That's right sah, I'm a Jew!
[9] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 31-Jan-06/8:02 AM | Reply
No no no, below the gentry lies the Mayor.
[8] LilMsLadyPoet @ 207.69.137.10 | 31-Jan-06/8:44 AM | Reply
professionals> "a fool"...fools
betters' tools...?

Other than that...cool!
[8] LilMsLadyPoet @ 207.69.137.10 | 31-Jan-06/8:44 AM | Reply
I LOVE the last stanza...as-is! It flows well for me!
[9] Caducus @ 80.168.238.107 | 1-Feb-06/1:46 AM | Reply
Cool satire and how you view those who view different parts of society was done really well. Reminded me of hte Blur parklife album with its wit yet their was a sense of humor mixed in with acute observations.

Is this Dark Angel inspired? or are you not one of his many aka's?
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