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Valentine? (Free verse) by celticskatermatt1 Candy, and roses
We rub noses,
Hearts are in the air
Girls so fine and fair
There is this special someone
Who i love a ton.
Girl every thing will work out fine
Will you be my Valentine?
Up the ladder:
Dancing
Down the ladder:
fly me away
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 2.0
Posted: January 31, 2006 7:17 PM PST; Last modified: January 31, 2006 7:17 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.642391 Overall Rank: 12335 Comments:
[7]
Ranger @ 62.252.32.15
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1-Feb-06/5:30 AM
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Reply
The penultimate line is far too long given how quick the rest of the poem is, line 6 is a bit cheesy, other than that a very readable ditty.
[7]
Ranger @ 62.252.32.15
> Ranger
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1-Feb-06/5:31 AM
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Oh, and take out the comma in line one.
I hate postmodernism, it's become impossible to tell when something is cleverly ironic and deconstructive or just shit. On this one I'm going for the latter.
looks like it's written by a hop-hop Eskimo trying to crossover to boy-band inspired greeting cards.
LOL...God's wife...and I'm with you Nich
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