| Re: Muff by Stephen Robins |
21-Mar-06/2:53 AM |
Fucking disgusting but i'm guilty of laughing.
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| Re: a comment on Judged by Dovina |
17-Mar-06/8:05 AM |
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| Re: Judged by Dovina |
16-Mar-06/3:40 AM |
I cant help thinking the title for this should be 'Clint Eastwood Moments'.
This has some quality concise images in the first stanza but s6 read like you were struggling compared to the other assured stzas
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| Re: a comment on _The Black Prince_ by Caducus |
9-Mar-06/9:46 AM |
Thanks.
A lot about men in this one. The end isnt so much a death of him in the mortal sense but a death of what he had and i guess seppuku is out of contrast but its the suicide throes of a samurai when he dishonours himself. The sword is an almost phallic representation and the kingdom entered is meant in a sexual context. I courted with the idea of using the lady in the lake and lady of shallot but figured enough was said.
I'm not 100% happy with it but it serves as a warning i guess to those who have something good in a woman and cheat on them and themselves.
Conscience is a battle.
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| Re: A HANGMAN'S MOANING by Dhanesh M Kumar |
6-Mar-06/4:02 AM |
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Intersting concept and not badly penned.
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| Re: Farm animals by INTRANSIT |
2-Mar-06/7:12 AM |
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killer cool and the last line is top banana
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| Re: In response to by INTRANSIT |
2-Mar-06/7:11 AM |
You do have a way with words making them like a portal to the scenes you paint so well - in particular i love this line
fingering
trees flicking my antennae.
Always something you do which adds beef to my own creative juices :-)
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| Re: Blackbird & the Everlasting Dream by Ranger |
2-Mar-06/7:08 AM |
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I too thought sonnet could be in the bag here too
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| Re: Blackbird & the Everlasting Dream by Ranger |
2-Mar-06/7:07 AM |
This one has a title to die for and the poems pretty good with a rhyme scheme that dont seem forced.
Corvids are my favourite group of birds - mistaken.
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| Re: Beauty, sleeping by Ranger |
2-Mar-06/7:06 AM |
I think your trying to deal with too many myths and stories in one poem and it needs line breaks, grammar, (i am one to talk on grammar) but their is something their most definitely.
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| Re: a comment on Sunday i will dream again by Caducus |
21-Feb-06/6:49 AM |
Thanks.
Alchemy is pretty much on the button with his/her interpretation. I wrote it attempting a duality of death being death, or the end of any relationship for whatever reason.
I realized where my strengths and weaknesses lay and awareness helped me do my thing the best to my ability.
It could actually do without the last stanza, i never know when to bow out but the ending of a poem in my opinion is key for people giving a shit.
Antony
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| Re: Memoirs of a miners son by Caducus |
7-Feb-06/8:24 AM |
Changed line 3 to davy lamp as it makes a wheezing sound when lit and is used for mining.
I think its better than heroes sword.
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| Re: The Book of Images by Dovina |
1-Feb-06/1:48 AM |
The meter might not work for some but it suits the tone of the poem. Also for me the truth in the first 4 lines of stanza 2 was spot on.
Favourited ! well done.
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| Re: The correct order of things by Stephen Robins |
1-Feb-06/1:46 AM |
Cool satire and how you view those who view different parts of society was done really well. Reminded me of hte Blur parklife album with its wit yet their was a sense of humor mixed in with acute observations.
Is this Dark Angel inspired? or are you not one of his many aka's?
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| Re: Malice In Wonderland (edited) by Caducus |
27-Jan-06/7:46 AM |
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whatever i do i still think this need san edit
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| Re: A moment, homeward by ecargo |
25-Jan-06/7:35 AM |
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Sonnet like and an eye debut from you to me. Good first impression
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| Re: In praise of racism by INTRANSIT |
25-Jan-06/7:33 AM |
Different in style from you and the wit mixes well with the wisdom. I think the link from poin tot point needs a tidy though (example: their secret dimples until
the lightbulb is
screwed in
Szechuan
Some novel lines / expression use in this.
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| Re: Racism 4 by Dovina |
18-Jan-06/8:42 AM |
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Stanza on eand three very solid. The end borders jerry springer final thought though.
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| Re: A tribute to our most precious Pearl by amanda_dcosta |
18-Jan-06/8:40 AM |
Dont know the history of the drafts but dont care its one of those poems which moves me.
That rarely happens.
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| Re: Brogues are best by Stephen Robins |
13-Jan-06/6:51 AM |
A similar style to Dark Angel and pretty amusing.
Are you related?
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