poemranker ::Judged by Dovina

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Free verse № 140893

Judged

Member since 2004 · Posted 15 Mar 2006 · Edited 16 Mar 2006 · 9 comments

He came with guns blazing in the wild, wild west, slung vigilante justice— swift, uncomplicated, final. A piece of evidence, presumption of more, accusation, innuendo, and too few questions. Many things I could have said. Many ways I could have changed. Unheard, hurt, determined guilty in haste. Hilarious, how he used to say, “I’ll just take this plank from my eye, then the lint from yours” Now, my error greater, He jerks the lint, judges in a manner he would not want to be judged— the worst kind of justice. Lacking self-restraint, he wrapped and buried me like a hot dog. With such as me, he does not eat. Correct or contaminate. The choice is yours. And faithful are the wounds of a friend. Choose hate over purpose. Ignore self-evaluation. Your judgment is entirely valid.

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9 comments

[8] Caducus 16-Mar-06/3:40 AM Reply
I cant help thinking the title for this should be 'Clint Eastwood Moments'.

This has some quality concise images in the first stanza but s6 read like you were struggling compared to the other assured stzas
[n/a] Dovina › Caducus 16-Mar-06/2:02 PM Reply
Yeah, I changed s5&6. See edit.
[8] Caducus › Dovina 17-Mar-06/8:05 AM Reply
bette redit :)
[7] ALChemy › Caducus 17-Mar-06/8:32 AM Reply
"bette redit :)"
That would make a great tee-shirt for writers.
[8] Ranger 16-Mar-06/7:52 AM Reply
Hmm...I don't really know what to make of this. I think Caducus nailed it with stanzas 1 and 6, something about 'hot dog...he does not eat' sat uneasy with me. The last stanza seemed very 'message-y', which I'm not a fan of in poems. Stanza 4 is good though.
[n/a] Dovina › Ranger 16-Mar-06/2:00 PM Reply
The last stanza is diatribe, for sure. I could do without it, but it makes me feel better, kinda like poking pins in an effigy doll.
[7] ALChemy 16-Mar-06/12:35 PM Reply
Ain't really pickin' much up from this but the "hot dog" stanza cracked me up.
[n/a] Dovina › ALChemy 16-Mar-06/1:53 PM Reply
It cracked me up too when I heard a guy say it in this very context. Guess you've never been lynched, vigilante style.
[7] wilco 19-Mar-06/1:40 AM Reply
Hey, I'm back. Excited?