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Sunday i will dream again (Free verse) by Caducus
Sundays toll peeled eyes and doves, I harked for the Nazarene as my shoulder war was lost and I collided with my Demons. Ignorance is Man's Babylon. He chalks around the dead empowering his weakness kissing his fragrant corpse. Find love in my frown lines. With pursed tender scarlet and leave upon me your map so I can lose myself, finding you. Inferno clock strikes its hands on me and I am gold by days end, changing with sky blending into night, on catacombs of satin where you lay no more. It's Sundays I feel her most, the coffee ring by a crossword and the way a pen looked in her mouth as she concentrated. It's Sundays I dread the most, her puncturing kiss to my cheek her cold feet searching for flesh now replaced by nothing who sleeps for yesterdays. I am walking to our place, to lay in combs of corn, to stare in your thousand eyes and hope to see one fall so I can close mine and see you again… in dreams.

Up the ladder: Judge Me Not
Down the ladder: A Rainy Afternoon

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.8
Weighted score: 5.3337684
Overall Rank: 3479
Posted: February 21, 2006 4:22 AM PST; Last modified: February 21, 2006 4:22 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 21-Feb-06/6:18 AM | Reply
Damn you Caducus, damn you to poetic injustice, you have presented me with a set of stanzas which individually are worth their weight in gold. But they don't click with each other, the joints are missing here. Each stanza has at least one absolute gem of a line in, it seems to me that you have stanzas from seven different poems put together here though. If I've missed something very important (and it's highly plausible that I have, my brain is somewhat fried right now) tell me and I will alter my reading accordingly.
PS since I disappeared from the ranker you started writing some unbelievable stuff; I feel like I missed out!
[10] ALChemy @ 24.74.100.11 > Ranger | 21-Feb-06/6:40 AM | Reply
Here's what I got. A man(perhaps an old man) decides to welcome back into his life the God that he once scorned and rejected for taking his lover(wife) away from him in the desperate hope that someday that God might reunite them.

Shoulder war: Chip on his shoulder maybe.
2nd stanza: He relizes he is bound to die.
3rd stanza: He embraces the idea of dying.
4th stanza: Getting older and closer to death.
5th and 6th stanzas: He reminisces about her and mourns her.
last stanza: he's preparing and about to die.

That's just my guess though.
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 > ALChemy | 21-Feb-06/6:46 AM | Reply
I knew I should have learned how to read poetry. Looking back over it with your interpretation gave me goosebumps. As such, ignore my first comment, Caducus. This is awesome.
[10] ALChemy @ 24.74.100.11 > Ranger | 21-Feb-06/6:50 AM | Reply
Don't sell yourself short. I've been quite amazed with the things you've picked up in my poems that most others didn't and you've been much more consistant than me when it comes to nailing the meanings of other posts.
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 > ALChemy | 21-Feb-06/7:40 AM | Reply
I must say that the play in the title 'Sunday/someday' just hit me. I need to be a bit less tired when reading Caducus' works. In fact, I think I need to be less tired when reading anyone's works!
[n/a] Caducus @ 172.202.26.25 > Ranger | 21-Feb-06/6:49 AM | Reply
Thanks.

Alchemy is pretty much on the button with his/her interpretation. I wrote it attempting a duality of death being death, or the end of any relationship for whatever reason.

I realized where my strengths and weaknesses lay and awareness helped me do my thing the best to my ability.

It could actually do without the last stanza, i never know when to bow out but the ending of a poem in my opinion is key for people giving a shit.

Antony
[9] MacFrantic @ 172.199.98.219 | 21-Feb-06/6:28 AM | Reply
This is very satisfying, but a few of the adj's seem forced. A I wish I could give you a 9.5, because with a couple tweaks this is an 11 for me. *9*
[10] ALChemy @ 24.74.100.11 | 21-Feb-06/6:42 AM | Reply
Great love story.
[10] Scarlett @ 66.210.233.6 | 21-Feb-06/7:35 AM | Reply
Whew.... the images that flood from this poem are impressive. The pain of a love lost has been penned before but this was unique. Thoroughly enjoyed.
[10] deleted user @ 204.97.16.34 | 21-Feb-06/1:24 PM | Reply
wow! This is really great work. I look forward to reading more of your stuff--you have a special talent.
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