Re: On coming across a field of deer one afternoon by <~> |
27-Feb-03/2:07 AM |
robert k frost connotations too
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Re: first kiss by lost in america |
1-Mar-03/3:43 PM |
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Re: Fresh faced Danger-Teen by INTRANSIT |
8-Mar-03/2:57 AM |
Lorasia has already made my point. The best man for commenting on this is Horus as you know he does diverse slam poetry this could be modified as song or slam, I would love to hear it aloud on an open mike. Thanx for you cmnts 8
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Re: I have nothing left to steal. by lost in america |
8-Mar-03/3:01 AM |
This never really engaged any interest, I am trying to understand the point of even writing it.
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Re: if only you could read my mind love by sk8boardandpoems |
8-Mar-03/3:27 AM |
I know your a mere whippersnapper of 12 so I will think back to when I wrote at that age.
I hope this will help you:
First off your very brave entering a forum for writers where most people wont know your a kid and that your inexperienced at writing and totally un worldly wise.
All I will say is this, everything you write no matter how negative the reaction NEVER CHUCK IT AWAY as you may have a couple of good lines to use om a later poem. This may sound unorthodox for a poet to do but your merely trying to find an identity and style for your work. You may find out of a 60 line poem you like now that later you will detest and want to chuck away, --- dont do it. When I look back on work I wrote at 13/14/15 etc i cringe, but its an interesting diary reflect on, and if you date each book you write in you will see how much your style has changed.
My advice is simply ignore the votes and insulting, profane remarks and concentrate on the users who can help you.
We may be totally different in technique and style but I would advise you to look at some of these users poems and concentrate on maybe writing about something your ahead in, for example write about childhood, most of us are much older and have forgot the magic of childhood, so you have a forte in that field where you can describe a natural innocence and purity. Write about the penultimate moments in your life, growing up with brother and sisters, your gran and grandad are they still alive, what is your most vivid memory and then look at beautiful ways or original metaphors to write. Gods Wife is a metaphor genius for example one line she used to describe an overcast winter day was....'The sky turned confederate grey' now that original. I am by no means perfect but I have generally got something out of poetry, moved people, pissed people off, but achieved what I wanted to do and thats get a reaction and make a difference to an otherwise mundane existence.
This is my longest comment ever on ranker but I wanted to help you.
User List (by no means complete) who influenced me
---------------------------------------------
Tintagiles: Imagery genius, wild and evocative
Gods Wife: A real poet in every sense of the word.
Intransit: Learning his art but when hes good hes on fire.
Poeandknowit: a complete shit human being but good writer)
Mr Pig: His work is moving and descriptive.
Horus8: A diverse writer, very angry, controversial but always has a point to make and wicked S.O.H.
Zzinnia: Like Gods wife both have helped fucking dozens of writers and get treated like shit by some who cant take the criticism, listen to these people, poetry are there arteries, ZZinnia is a top haiku writer and she too is a cool writer.
Theres loads more, even view Rangers work hes only 17 but pretty damn good for his age.
I hope you give poetry a shot.
good luck sk8
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regarding some deleted poem... |
10-Mar-03/1:47 AM |
Yes a lascivious poem and yes a fresh breeze in to any red blooded males trouser area. 9
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regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Mar-03/3:19 AM |
Wow this is up there on the laughometer with 'Zombie Flesh Eaters' by the way I want more of those man, And please correct me on any grammar you usually do and my greasy spoon was littered with them, I corrected them thanks.
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Re: Saline drip to the eye by INTRANSIT |
12-Mar-03/5:28 AM |
Impressive, love the images in this 'A chalky ashen ball', Dario Argento used a nice line for dead eyes: four flies on grey velvet, you got a Q TiP aWaRdE ask him to say what 4, vote(9)
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Re: Blustered by INTRANSIT |
12-Mar-03/5:35 AM |
Get A title for this, that gives the reader a big idea what its about. A good title would be : The Shedding?
Idea: (trees dont panic) so ....
the tree shakes and rips,
As the wind whistles in glory,
Death is inevitable.
Play around with it, you know you'll get it.
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Re: Limericks of hot seething love, gone bad. by horus8 |
12-Mar-03/5:42 AM |
This seems unfinished mate, I was left scrapping for more, or maybe I am greedy today? gotta feel that lurve thang !
Hey H, give me the goss on what you've been up to : endymion29@hotmail.com
You know everythhing from Magnum ads, Beverly D-angelo, being pissed, california gossip beats coventry gossip, man I live in a shithole of a city.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Mar-03/8:58 AM |
I loved part of this espeicially the opening lines full of vitriol and contempt - cool.
However the types of people in america are here too in not so great britain. ...7 (
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regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Mar-03/9:03 AM |
Reading this made me feel
really pissed off i live in an industrialized crap hole of a city and I guess writing is inspired by where you live partly (maybe wholly) I know this though, I am changing and seek to seek myself by travelling, this poem made the hunger grow inside my belly full of butterflies and devour all of them for the short while I read it, hmmm definitely a poem that leaves an aftertaste. Its provoked a big reaction from me and I feel depressed. Good work GW, ( I am sighing ) xxx cad !
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Re: great caesar's ghost by bondjedi |
12-Mar-03/9:04 AM |
bitches in heat ( great name for a rock band )
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Re: Summer by MaliqaTara |
12-Mar-03/9:04 AM |
Hope you get what you want
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regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Mar-03/9:06 AM |
I'm Impressed Mr Foster 8
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Re: One Moment to the Other (v2) by nentwined |
12-Mar-03/9:07 AM |
Well Done this is a grand poem, love the opening, ahhh opening I need one with my job 8
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regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Mar-03/9:08 AM |
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Re: hard as a rock by <~> |
13-Mar-03/2:53 PM |
God your horny tonight, ice the red I'm coming over.
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Re: Icarus up by horus8 |
13-Mar-03/2:54 PM |
I say Icarus down, get him down
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Re: Icarus Down by horus8 |
13-Mar-03/2:57 PM |
Icarus flies like an irish kite. Glad to see non conformity, anorak poetry fucks me off occasionally infact conformist is icarus poetry, down with it.
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