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On coming across a field of deer one afternoon (Free verse) by <~>
Snap! Attune and pivot, Eloquence bespeaking muscled escape, A whirling melee of grace, spryly Sprung over tumbled bramble, Leave me humbled, witness to their Flick! Like a tide washing itself uphill Ten times the white, condensed and Tailed in tiny white flames, In ermined retreat, Gone! They crashed when I startled, sighting them. Dun on dun in the decaying golden last glance Of a January, past.

Up the ladder: Secret, Admirer
Down the ladder: Looking Down

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.4615383
Weighted score: 6.7995286
Overall Rank: 403
Posted: February 26, 2003 8:14 PM PST; Last modified: February 27, 2003 1:22 AM PST
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Comments:
[8] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 27-Feb-03/2:07 AM | Reply
Beauty as ever my dear friend.
[8] Caducus @ 62.105.88.10 | 27-Feb-03/2:07 AM | Reply
robert k frost connotations too
[8] spank me baby yeah @ 62.105.88.10 | 27-Feb-03/3:02 AM | Reply
I REALLY LIKED THIS
[n/a] Jeremi @ 68.14.26.239 | 27-Feb-03/6:05 AM | Reply
Deer don't come in fields. I don't know what the word is, but it isn't field.
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > Jeremi | 27-Feb-03/6:58 AM | Reply
i came, not the deer, dear. syntax and you should get to know each other a little better. maybe over a couple of beers. or a rack.
[9] razorgrin @ 192.197.142.43 | 27-Feb-03/11:15 AM | Reply
Beautiful.
[9] Ranger @ 213.1.45.6 | 27-Feb-03/2:56 PM | Reply
I love most of this but I'm confused by the last line of the 4th stanza. Witness to their what? Or have I missed something. I think I'll come back to this soon. I would also be grateful if you could tell me what you think of my latest efforts.
[9] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 27-Feb-03/3:58 PM | Reply
Horns a velvet.
[9] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 27-Feb-03/4:15 PM | Reply
I recieved the magazine today. It looks delightful. Thank you so much for everything. You are a true friend Z. and a great writer. I will give you my feedback perhaps later on the phone. Cute pictures. Very interesting blood line. Cheers.
[7] Mr Pig @ 62.105.88.10 | 28-Feb-03/5:08 AM | Reply
Delightful my Dear girl, bloody well done.
[9] UnityMitford @ 167.206.181.179 | 28-Feb-03/6:33 AM | Reply
as usual, gorgeousness and gorgeosity made flesh.
[8] INTRANSIT @ 216.137.210.210 | 28-Feb-03/4:58 PM | Reply
Glad to see you back in the saddle.
Busy and active poem ya got here. Good thing they didnt dash out in front of you.
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