| Re: Easier To Say Good-bye by Brandy_n_Cali |
22-Aug-04/10:37 AM |
|
|
 |
| Re: A Stitch In Time by Dovina |
21-Aug-04/7:54 PM |
Great last four lines (along with all the rest).
A morning love Into an afternoon love,
("Into one from this afternoon"? Too much love in this poem for my taste.)-10- Anyway it's good without my meddling.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Q For Some Reason by MacFrantic |
18-Aug-04/4:20 AM |
|
Xanax, Prozac, Zoloft are all little Dutch boys with their fingers in the dyke. The dyke is Swiss cheese. The water is full of hungry mice and we are all living on the edge of Disneyland. Know a good pharmacist?
|
|
|
|
| Re: Surfer by INTRANSIT |
18-Aug-04/4:12 AM |
|
The old long boarder(10'6") understands the last four lines best.
|
|
|
|
| Re: The 80's by wilco |
18-Aug-04/4:09 AM |
|
Unusual. A chorus that is longer than the verse.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Friends by Dovina |
18-Aug-04/3:59 AM |
|
A is for artichoke (less phallic than asparagus). Your trip to Ireland has made you a consummate toastmistress. Make mine Merlot. -9-
|
|
|
|
| Re: Harvest by Bachus |
18-Aug-04/3:45 AM |
|
-10- for "God is most certainly in everything we choose to miss."
|
|
|
|
| Re: My Swarthy Bane by MacFrantic |
17-Aug-04/8:15 AM |
|
Death looks like my ex-mother-in-law to me. But each of us has our own boogie(sic) man we see, now that Rick James is dead.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Guilt Trip by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
17-Aug-04/8:10 AM |
|
Lyrics are tough to rate because of the singsong nature of the meter and the rhyme. I think it would work as long as Bono or Sting don't sing it.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Lonelier than you- by samuel sturgeon |
17-Aug-04/7:50 AM |
|
I felt just like this once...a couple of times.
|
|
|
|
| Re: The Finger of my Mind by sliver |
17-Aug-04/7:47 AM |
|
Evocative. Good use of dark, quiet images.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Inquietude by klosterfobik |
16-Aug-04/9:41 AM |
"How about the little blue pill of the protracted night?" JK
To me the center of the poem is:
"And I awaken to the dim hum
of my room's quiet seclusion,
And wonder where she sleeps tonight,
Wonder why our eager joining went so wrong,
Wonder if her delicate sweetness was ever given for free?"
It's never free, but it can sometimes be reasonable. -9-
|
|
|
|
| Re: Navy Pier by Doug |
16-Aug-04/9:24 AM |
|
Imagery reminiscent of Sandburg? Are you a sandburger? -9-
|
|
|
|
| Re: I Love You Mildred Rogers No Matter What by cat |
13-Aug-04/4:28 PM |
|
I like glasses. I spill less than when drinking straight from the still.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Mr. Stryker, Do You Really Want Some Kind of War? by cat |
13-Aug-04/4:22 PM |
|
Its better than an -8- but I believe the last three lines have a rewrite in their future(Only if you're looking for a -10-). Don't let Z bother you. When he's serious, he's good. When he's f-ing with your head, he's great.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Sinistral Defenses by Scarlet_Raindrops x |
12-Aug-04/11:08 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Los Angeles by Dovina |
9-Aug-04/9:36 AM |
|
I prefer carrots to karats, morfs to forms and v8 to vodka (for now).
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on A Letter to You by QuirkyWonder |
9-Aug-04/8:56 AM |
|
I have a friend whose best song is about song writer's block. She's had some of her songs recorded by a large entertainment corporation. When I asked her why her best song wasn't used, she said, 'It's an insider song. It doesn't appeal to people who listen to songs. The corp. felt it would appeal only to those who write songs." They were right. I love the song and your poem but it has a limited audience-- poets.
|
|
|
|
| Re: a comment on Torment From The Undead by XxRuby_KillsXx |
8-Aug-04/12:58 PM |
|
Gee, I really like big sporting events like the Olympics. When they are on TV, I can go shopping at Target and I'm in and out in minutes (kinda like sex). It is wonderful level upon which to shop at ignorant venues. I should go shopping now. You should post again. It's been a while. I miss your "POV" on this L.A. lala life.
|
|
|
|
| Re: A Letter to You by QuirkyWonder |
8-Aug-04/9:49 AM |
|
You're preaching to the choir. (check pikced)
|
|
|
|
